One clever canine, two minor triumphs and not enough cards

Child refugees: more cash is needed from the government

COMMENT: Government needs to dig deep to find extra cash

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My mate has a pedigree black Labrador which he walks every morning.

He ties the dog up outside the supermarket on his way home when he pops in to get a paper and a chocolate bar.

Ever since the Co-op scandal broke, and this is absolutely true, the dog has started whining whenever he goes into the supermarket, which just happens to be a branch of the Co-op.

It’s like the dog is voicing his disapproval of my mate going in there.

It’s so weird,because he never made a sound before.

The only other suggestion would be that, being a pedigree dog, he’d rather be tied up outside Waitrose instead in case any of his mates see him.

Why do the shops never seem to sell boxes of Christmas cards in numbers that exactly match the number of friends and family you’re planning to send them to?

It’s always one of the big maths problems of late November – working out which two bumper packs of cards you’ll have to get where the two numbers combined will match the number that you’re going to send out.

What I end up doing most years is just dumping a few friends so my card list matches the number of the cards in the box I’ve bought.

As a man who obsesses about these things, I’m trying to work out which of the following two similar activities gives me the most pleasure.

Is it landing the price sign on exactly £20, £30 or £40 when putting petrol in the car?

Or is it landing at the exact start of the second half of a TV show when fast-forwarding through the adverts at the quickest possible speed when watching a show on Sky Plus or similar?

They’re both kind of similar activities, but I’m not sure which I enjoy succeeding at more, or which is hardest to do.

Just wondered if anyone else got as much satisfaction out of achieving them as I do.

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