Our seafront is in a sorry old state

South Parade Pier
South Parade Pier
Inquisitor: John Humphrys

ZELLA COMPTON: Why does John Humphrys still have a national platform?

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In need of an ozone fix, I headed off to Southsea seafront on Boxing Day afternoon.

Although chilly, the sun was shining and the promenade was packed with families full of Christmas cheer.

It really warms the cockles of your heart to see mums, dads, grandparents and kids all chatting and laughing together.

Ah, picture perfect. And then I, metaphorically speaking, took off my rose-tinted specs.

Because the reality is that South Parade Pier is a bit of a dump. The owners may wax lyrical about the ‘millions’ they’re going to spend on renovating it, but it needs urgent TLC now.

Then there’s the building site blot on the landscape opposite.

The Lumps Fort beach huts are also so dark and dingy. Why can’t we have them painted lovely pastel colours like other resorts?

Residents and visitors love coming to our seafront. But it’s in a sorry state and we deserve better. So Portsmouth City Council, as we go into 2012 it’s time to pull your finger out.

Now, the Boy Scout motto is ‘be prepared’ and that’s normally me too.

I’m so organised. I’ve got pills and potions for most ailments in my handbag, a spare pair of shoes in case the ones I’m wearing hurt and an umbrella on a sunny day.

My bijou bedsit and bog is full of stuff ‘just in case’ I might need it. It’s ridiculous really.

I’m like a hamster on hooch, diving under piles of papers and magazines looking for the cutting I’d stored away years ago for later and need NOW.

It’s time to de-clutter, that’s my new year resolution.

But before that, it’s New Year’s Eve and I’m off to celebrate.

Topping & Butch, an outrageously camp cabaret act, are on at The Old Vic in Southsea tonight (a few tickets are still available if you’re interested).

So I’m buffing and puffing my Goddess bod and sashaying on down there.

But before that I’d like to wish you all love, light and laughter and peace and prosperity for 2012.

Happy new year.