A New York company called Pod Works has launched its first office space in the UK.
The idea is to give a new lease of life to disused phone boxes and convert them into fully functional offices.
You’d have constant interruptions from dancing crackheads and ruined conference calls when the pan pipe band turns up and starts playing right outside
So if the office environment isn’t bad enough for you already, you can now have added claustrophobia and the scent of fermenting tramp’s urine as well.
I imagine it will be really lovely in there when it’s hot.
You’d have to open the door and the public would know what a valued member of the team you are to be stuffed away in a cramped little box.
I suspect a little bit of your heart would die every time the local chavs threw their chips at you.
And where do you go when you get promoted? A garden shed?
In remote parts of the country they are making good use of phone boxes by installing defibrillators in them.
To me, this seems like a much better idea than trying to turn them into work stations.
This whole thing has a horrible ‘hipster’ feel to it. No doubt there will be people who will buy into the idea because they think it’s ‘cool’.
But they won’t be saying that when they turn up to work in the morning and find that a drunk has been sick all over the photocopier.
I’ve seen a photo of the people who have come up with this whole idea, lined up proudly outside one of the converted boxes.
They couldn’t look any more smug if they tried.
But it’s not as if phone boxes haven’t been used for business before, is it?
Imagine if these tiny office spaces appeared down Commercial Road in the centre of Portsmouth.
You’d have constant interruptions from dancing crackheads and ruined conference calls when the pan pipe band turns up and starts playing right outside.
The irony is that once you’ve got your desk, stool, stapler and laptop in there, there’s not going to be any room for a phone.
But hey, at least you’d have a decent excuse for HR when you get called in for getting a bit too close to your secretary.
EIGHT IPHONES FOR A DOG? HE CAN SPEND CASH HOW HE LIKES
If you’re having trouble getting your hands on the latest iPhone, then blame the son of one of China’s most powerful property moguls, Wang Jianlin, who apparently bought his dog eight of them!
The ungrateful mutt doesn’t even look overly impressed. Maybe he was stuck on a particularly difficult level of Candy Crush, or perhaps he would have preferred a gold lamppost instead.
And to think my dog turned his nose up when I bought him an iPhone 6, threatening me with the RSPCA.
People were fuming, saying Wang could have given the money to charity instead.
But what’s it got to do with anyone else what someone spends their money on?
I say he can spend it how he likes.
THE LAST THING YOU’D WANT IS SOME MORON TALKING TO YOU
In an attempt to get Tube passengers to speak to one another, Tube Chat badges have been handed out for people to wear.
I felt a sense of horror when I heard about this. Because I don’t want to even make eye contact with some of the mutants you see on public transport, let alone talk to them.
The last thing you’d want is some moron bounding over to have an inane chat when you just want to sit on your own.
Next time I travel on the Tube, I will have my specially-made Leave Me Alone badge at the ready.
Some people will think it sad that humans need these badges in order to interact.
But I think we should just be able to go about our day in our own miserable way and not be bothered by complete strangers.