Pop music and clever parrots

COMMENT: All agencies must to held to account for Anne Savidge’s tragic death

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Praise be for the person who invented the kids’ club because it has saved millions of parents their sanity.

As much as it is fun to spend time with your children on holiday, every adult deserves at least seven minutes of peace during a week-long break.

Molly loved the kids’ club, it was rammed with children from all over Europe, relentlessly dancing, singing, jumping and painting. In the evening there was the inimitable mini disco too.

The boundlessly energetic staff presented a variety of stage talent which included a George Michael/Robbie/Pavarotti tribute, African jugglers and a Cockatoo on roller skates (not all at the same time, although that would be amazing).

All of this interspersed with sing-along Euro-dance music.

All good fun at the time, but when you’re in your bed back at home in Portchester a week later, still thinking about a moonwalking parrot and mumbling a Euro-ditty on loop, you have to question whether they’ve performed some form of twisted brain infiltration.