Portraying themselves as a military power is laughable

Share this article
That's the way to do it

RICK JACKSON: Girl power rules – at the age of two

Have your say

Not a week goes by at the moment without more sabre-rattling from North Korea.

The rhetoric has been ramped up even more with Kim Jong-un threatening America with thermo-nuclear war.

Good one that, I bet it really got them shaking in their boots.

I’d have a better chance of landing a bomb on the Hawaiian coast if I cobbled together a rocket made from a few old fireworks, an empty bottle of Ribena and a bicycle pump.

And it seems that the North Korean top brass have also recently discovered Photoshop.

The regime digitally altered a photograph to show eight armoured landing craft moving towards a beach instead of six.

I’m sure Obama and co were heading straight for the underground bunkers when they saw that one. Not.

A whole eight craft! Hovercrafts at that, even better.

I guess they’ll choose to start the war when it’s not windy then.

No doubt the person behind that one reckons they’re some sort of propaganda mastermind.

Did someone think ‘now, I know America are pretty good at this war game, but if we show them we’ve got eight hovercrafts, they won’t think twice about coming near us with a stealth fighter.’

And what are those walkie-talkies that you see the North Koreans using? The ones they sell in Toys R Us are packed with more advanced technology.

Another thing. Who cuts Kim’s hair? I’m pretty sure that they’re not hairdressing any more given the stick he’s been getting.

Now, I’ve had a few dodgy barnets in my time. The famous side parting mullet of ’91 and the pony tail of ’96 were both classics.

But if Kim’s hair was in a pack of Top Trumps of dodgy haircuts, his current crop would be the card everyone wanted.

The way the North Koreans portray themselves as a military superpower is laughable.

If it weren’t for the plight of the poor people living under this crazy regime, this whole sorry episode would make for a good comedy.