Should I leave my wife? '“ Advice columnÂ


Wednesday, 9th January 2019, 12:21 pm
Updated Thursday, 10th January 2019, 2:59 pm
Fiona Caine advises a man who has already left his wife once for another woman - and wants to do it again

Relationship advice from trained councillor Fiona Caine

Q I am 29 and married to my wife, who's 24, and we have two young children.

Things are not great in my marriage, as she is an extreme introvert.

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However, my real problem is I love another woman. I have become intimate with her in a way I never have with any another woman, even my wife.

My wife found out about us and, after going for counselling together, she forgave me, but I still can't get over this other woman.

A There's no way I can tell you what to do here, because you have to think about this very carefully.

Not only are there two women to consider here, but there are also at least three children.

I'm sure there have been times when you've wished you'd never met this woman, because although your relationship with your wife is difficult, you clearly loved her once.

Staying together for their sake is as good a reason as any to try and make your marriage work.

Q I am 54 and volunteer at a local care home where, over the past year I have become very friendly with a man there.

In fact, it's probably more accurate to say I have fallen in love with him.

He's 66 and a lovely man, but the problem is he's only got a few more months to live.

As far as I know, nobody visits him and I hate to think that, during whatever time he has left, he will have no one around that loves him.

Do you think I should tell him how I feel? Surely it would cheer him up? 

A It is also very likely to upset him because he knows he only has a short time to live.

How badly do you think he might feel to have the possibility of love presented to him, knowing it has no future?

Your empathy does you credit but, in this instance, I wonder if it might not be kinder to keep your feelings to yourself.

Continue to offer your friendship and he will value this.