Snake massage? Southsea Serpents will be here soon

Don't worry children, it won't hurt a bit...

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Struggling for Christmas gift ideas? Looking to buy something new, innovative and altogether refreshing?

All new for 2014 is the ‘Snake Body Massage’. If you’ve allowed snails to slither across and revitalise your face, or maybe tiny fish gnaw away at your Hobbit-like feet, this could be right up your street.

Post-massage, three six-foot pythons are laid across the body and face and gently writhe around – exuding calmness and serenity, apparently.

Reflexology experts say it’s the ‘perfect’ way to relax and allow one’s mind to drift.

You’ll have to travel to Bali to receive the treatment – but expect Southsea Serpents to be trading by Easter.