So Sad(e) – this is not the Smooth Operator’s ultimate collection

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Here’s a quick tip to end your week.

Instead of buying complex puzzles for your children’s birthdays or at Christmas, why not just get lots of old wire coat hangers, pile them all together and tell your little ones to untangle them.

It will take them weeks, I promise you.

It has to be the most frustrating household chore known to man.

n I’ve discovered what I think is the ultimate definition of someone who can be classed as a bit of a slob, and I fall into that category.

Basically, do you come home slightly drunk with some takeaway food after a night out and gobble your food dressed in your glad rags because you just want to shovel it down rather than eat it properly like a civilised person?

If you do this, you’re a slob!

n I have a bit of a bugbear regarding greatest hits albums.

I saw one album the other day by Sade called The Ultimate Collection. It had all her biggest hits on it. But then I wondered why it had that name.

Logically, you should only call an album the ultimate collection if it contains every single song you ever made. Now, if she’d called it The Ultimate Singles Collection, I could have understood it, but the album was a few years old and she’s still bringing out singles, so it’s not even the ultimate singles collection anyway.

What I’m saying is, unless the artist who brings out an album called The Ultimate Collection has retired for good or died, then they shouldn’t call their greatest hits albums The Ultimate Collection.

So if you’re going to bring out a greatest hits album and you’re not planning to retire or die, can’t you just call it The Story So Far please?

n I just did this great new Facebook quiz. It’s called What Person On The Planet Are You? I took it and apparently... I’m me!