Songs for your office party

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Have you seen that album that’s out: Ultimate Office Party? It’s four CDs of 80 specially selected tracks to make your work’s Christmas Party a rip-roaring success.

What office party lasts the length of 80 songs? Most people will stay for about five before realising it’s a chance for them to knock-off early and get some Christmas shopping done.

If your office party lasts 80 songs, either it’s one of those rare ones that’s actually good, or everyone has to hang around waiting for their boss to leave before they can start enjoying themselves. And they’ve got some fantastically inappropriate tracks on this box set: Here’s a few…

The Pointer Sisters, I’m So Excited. Really? Excited by the prospect of drinking cheap wine in a box while making small-talk with the person who’s after your job? I don’t think so.

Billy Ocean’s When The Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Going. In most workplaces it’s a case of When the Going Gets Tough, You Get Laid Off With No Redundancy Pay!

Chris Brown ft. Benny Bennassi with Beautiful People. Really? Maybe if your office party is at a model agency, but not anywhere else – they’re not even beautiful after eight beakers of cheap plonk.

Elvis vs JXL’s A Little Less Conversation. But that’s mostly all you get at an Office Christmas Party, especially when you get collared by that boring bloke from accounts who makes matchstick models in his spare time.

In fact, the only appropriate song on this album is Steps’ Tragedy. That sums up pretty much every single office Christmas party I’ve ever been to!

Elsewhere, looking forward to next year, Nicki Minaj has revealed that she has included a new alter ego on her upcoming album. The rapper teased that fans will be introduced to a new character on her second studio album Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded, which will be released on February 14.

Muse have revealed that their next album will be ‘radically different’ to their previous material. The Knights of Cydonia band are currently working on their sixth studio album, which they recently revealed will likely see an October 2012 release date.

And Madonna has confirmed plans to release her new single at the beginning of 2012. The singer will officially release Gimme All Your Luvin’ during the last week of January, ahead of her upcoming Super Bowl half-time appearance on February 5.

Happy Christmas!