STEVE POWER: God save the clean (hands)!

Everyone must wash their hands for the length of time it takes to sing the first verse of the National Anthem.
Everyone must wash their hands for the length of time it takes to sing the first verse of the National Anthem.
Ewan McGregor  as Renton in Trainspotting - the gender neutral toilets Zella has visited are almost as grubby

ZELLA COMPTON: Men – just aim it in the right direction and we’ll all be happy!

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Have your say

The deputy chief medical officer has said that everyone must wash their hands for the length of time it takes to sing the first verse of the National Anthem, which is roughly 45 seconds.

I think you’ll find a lot of men take a lot longer to complete the hand washing task in the morning.

That’s because if they go into the bathroom after their partner has had a shower, they will spend at least a minute looking for a towel to dry their hands on.

This is due to the fact your partner will have used at least one towel to wrap round their body and one towel to dry their hair.

Plus you’ll have to factor in that there’ll be so much steam in the bathroom that they won’t be able to see the sink or the hand soap to even get started!

o According to a recent report, MPs are calling for a flooding supremo to be appointed in the UK.

If this happens I’ve come up with a really good way of making sure they work really hard at their job.

Just make sure their office is on the ground floor of a building in an at risk flood area.

That’ll work!

o Scientists from California have said that molecules found on smartphones reveal an astonishing amount about their owner’s health and lifestyle, including their food preferences and the medication they take.

I’m no expert, but shouldn’t someone tell these scientists that the easiest way to find out about someone’s lifestyle is by checking the pictures on their phone?

Just a thought.

o Apparently Facebook is planning to stop fake news being published on its site. I think given certain headlines which have popped up in the news recently, I might prefer to read some fake news stories once in a while…