Steve Power: ‘Thank God there are people like me’

Steve gives Robocop a run for his money with his pragmatic approach to preventing cyber crime.
Steve gives Robocop a run for his money with his pragmatic approach to preventing cyber crime.
Angie Thomas, author of The Hate U Give

ZELLA COMPTON: Teen novel made me realise my views are institutionalised

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A new report has claimed that more than 12 million people and a million small businesses in Britain don’t have the skills to prosper in the digital era.

But has anyone thought this through properly? If we all had digital skills, those who get paid to help the digitally challenged would be out of work themselves.

I ought to be getting paid for the cyber crime I’m stopping

You can imagine how much mayhem people with digital skills would get up to if they were unemployed.

They’d be spending all day hacking bank accounts and making cyber-crime ten times worse than it already is.

What we really need is more people who are digitally inept to keep these techno whiz-kids busy so they don’t end up causing boredom-onset havoc.

Thank God there are people like me around. I ought to be getting paid for the cyber crime I’m stopping.

n So apparently, all of Cheryl Fernandez-Versini’s groups on this year’s X Factor have had to change their names for copyright reasons.

4th Power has already been forced to change their name to 4th Impact, but now Alien will be known as Alien Uncovered.

Menn on Point will now be known by their first names Reggie ‘n’ Bollie.

Anyone else think these new names are really poor? Alien Uncovered sounds like a really bad episode of The X-Files.

They must be the first X Factor band whose name takes longer to say than their career will last.

Oh and by the way, any suggestion that The X Factor is going to be changing its name to Strictly The X-Factor to increase its popularity are still not true though…Yet.

n If you’re installing a lift into your shop, try to make the customers feel more excited by renaming the LG button for the lower ground as the S button for subterranean.

Lower ground just sounds so dull doesn’t it really?