STEVE POWER: Why are we so cruel to pumpkins?

Can't we start being cruel to other similar veg for a change?'
Can't we start being cruel to other similar veg for a change?'
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Do you think pumpkins get upset that we only ever bother with them for one month of the year, and at the end of that month we carve them and almost set fire to them?

How damaging for the pumpkin’s self-esteem must that be?

Can’t we start being cruel to other similar veg for a change?

How about we all go out this Halloween and carve a butternut squash?

o Are you one of those people who find that watches never fit comfortably because the holes on the strap just don’t seem to match the size of your wrist?

I reckon there must be millions of us suffering with either too loose watch straps or ones that almost cut off the blood circulation to our hands.

Let’s start a campaign group demanding change for watch strap sizes.

o Robbie Williams has revealed he has arthritis in his back which has forced him to tone down his dance routines when performing on stage.

I’m now looking forward to some arthritis-related Robbie songs coming out such as: ′Mr Bone-Jangles′ and ′Bad Back for Good′.

There’s potential for a new album here!

o Given how many blokes just chuck their clothes on the floor at the end of the day, why has no furniture designer designed a chest of drawers or wardrobe that’s inset slightly into the bedroom floor, and has doors that look like floorboards when closed?

Then we could just pull the doors open when we go into our bedrooms, chuck our clothes in, shut the doors and the room would look nice and neat again, without us having had to actually hang our clothes up.

Come on furniture designers, that’s a winner of an idea!