You must have had your head in a hole in an inelegant imitation of an ostrich if you missed the on-pitch biting of one footballer by another.
Yes, Luis Suarez apparently attempted to take a chunk out of the arm of Branislav Ivanovic (what a fabulous name by the way).
Maybe Suarez thought, in a moment of confusion, that here was a tasty snack to help him get through the match. Perhaps his protein quotient was running low.
Who knows what went through his head? Maybe it was blind instinct, rather like my dog who’ll bite at anything he’s trying to slow down. Like my socks, which I attempt to get on to my feet without the dog intercepting.
So there I am, socks on, washing the breakfast dishes when David Cameron starts chatting on the radio. I forget which channel it was (we are not a one-station family any more as my husband, my son and I have distinctly different tastes – whoever gets through the kitchen door first owns the station).
I plump for Radio 4, my husband for 5 Live and my son for Capital. But whichever it is, as soon as the girls appear in their ruddy good health with cheerful opinions about the burned nature of the toast, the radio fades to a background noise.
But, arms adorned in soap bracelets, I found myself tuning into Cameron’s drone. He was saying how awful it was to watch, with his young son beside him, the vampiric incident involving Suarez (he didn’t actually say vampiric, I just added that for colour) and what a bad example it was to children.
Now hang on. Is it really such a bad thing that it deserves prime ministerial primetime? Let’s have a think about this. I’m not advocating biting but, if our children only saw light and goodness, how would they ever learn about darkness and consequences?
Suarez has paid for his madness. He’s been fined, will miss 10 matches and has the national media slathering for their pound of flesh, as well as people booing him.
His punishment is public and humiliating. What does that teach our children?
An important lesson, that’s what. It says that if you cheat or use unacceptable behaviour, you will be punished.