TAMARA TALKS: Why Tinder can be a match made in hell for women

If you're single in 2016 and about the right age to use Tinder, then there's a good chance you're on it.

Tuesday, 11th October 2016, 1:20 pm
Updated Tuesday, 25th October 2016, 5:49 pm

Whether you downloaded it for a laugh (ha, so you tell your friends), for casual hook-ups, or you’re in search of a partner, there’s no denying Tinder has become a dating phenomenon millions of people use daily.

But along with the advantages that come with being able to browse the singles pool – if they really are single – with the swipe of a finger, come disadvantages.

I don’t like knowing I’m judging somebody by the way they look, how they describe themselves or the first thing they message me, but we all do it.

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Sometimes it’s for justifiable reasons – one man says he loves blondes and you’re a brunette, another might be looking for a travel buddy and you don’t want to travel.

There are also good reasons in terms of safety and/or dodgi-ness – like when the only picture you can see on a profile is a set of abs and the description is the person’s phone number. No thank you.

A friend of mine recently matched with a guy who messaged her six times in three days without a response. Persistence of this kind, from men and women, drives me crazy. Just because you match with someone it doesn’t mean you are obliged to talk to them.

I’m happy to judge someone who does this, and from my own experiences and having spoken to lots of other female Tinder users, I’m sure many of you ladies will be able to relate to not being able to stand any of the following:

Being asked inappropriate questions; being contacted through social media after not replying on the app; immediately being asked for your number; being asked to send or receive pictures – and being called a prude for objecting; being called ‘one of those stuck up girls’ for not replying in the boy’s (not man’s) message-me-back time frame; politely telling someone you’re not interested and having the same person message you again, and having a person assume there’s something wrong with you for not wanting to pursue anything with them.

Despite having to deal with all the above, on many occasions – and I know men do this too – we still swipe left for the most trivial of things. Why? Because there are so many people using Tinder that we’d rather carry on swiping until we come across someone we deem perfect.

Are we right to disregard people so quickly? Or should we give more of a chance to those who don’t instantly grab us – even those who make us cringe a little from what it is we can see?

– Twenty-three-year-old Tamara Siddiqui is a journalist at The News. Read her views on life as a modern woman in an ever-changing world every Tuesday, online or in the newspaper.