Team Gear team told big porkies about condiments: Zella Compton

Paddy McGuinness, Chris Harris and Freddie Flintoff with a McLaren 600LT in the new series of Top Gear which airs later this month
Paddy McGuinness, Chris Harris and Freddie Flintoff with a McLaren 600LT in the new series of Top Gear which airs later this month

Top Gear is about to restart on the small screen. It’s not my favourite show.  I’m not that bothered about cars, and I really rather disliked previous presenters and the cavalier attitudes which were shown to other people’s cultures and countries, but sometimes it’s on in the background.

And, you know what, it stays on as I don’t dislike it enough to turn over.

But I will be watching the new series as we saw the film crew when we were in Ethiopia at Easter. 

We were all delayed waiting for an internal flight between Addis Ababa (Ethiopia’s capital) and Gondar, a town near the Simien Mountains where we headed for a week’s walking.

The film crew – there were a lot of them with far more carry-on luggage than anyone else – appeared quite friendly when my youngest daughter went to chat to them, but boy did they lie.

I don’t know what they were scared of, that we’d let the cat out of the bag about which country they were in perhaps?

But they spent at least 10 minutes talking about mayonnaise and trying to convince her they were there to travel around and film an advert about a sometimes salad, sometimes chips, dressing. 

After explaining the problems with keeping eggs fresh in hot countries and the need for powdered goods, and the prolific uses of mayonnaise in Ethiopian cookery, I expect that they felt really rather great about themselves, and had a good laugh at her (our) expense.

I expect that they’d had a great plan of what to tell people who asked what they were filming, and spent time over a few beers congratulating themselves on the levels of the deception.

And though we were pretty doubtful, they were pretty convincing.

Unfortunately for them, they’d forgotten the integral part of being a master criminal, hadn’t quite tied up all the strands of the knot and hadn’t informed the people picking them up at the airport that they were advert makers.

So imagine their horror about getting off the plane to be greeted by massive signs saying ‘Top Gear’.

Top liars more like.

Drugs, lies and hypocrisy – what a murky old bunch

Who has done drugs and who hasn’t is now spicing up the Tory leadership race.

The hopefuls are aiming to take each other down with murky secrets while we sit back to watch the Conservatives embark on yet another civil war, with the prize being the country they ripped apart.

Surely no one wants a leader who knows from an early age they want to be PM and thus doesn’t experience any shades of life at all.

I’m not advocating taking class A drugs, but I don’t see it as the end of the world, unless there’s lying, or hypocrisy involved.

Aah, that’s Gove out for hypocrisy then. 

And goodbye Boris for being a serial liar.

Publicly stoned for being LGBT – what has it come to? 

Why on earth are young women being attacked for showing signs of affection – and conversely for not showing signs of affection on demand – in public?

I am sickened that there have been two hate crimes against LGBT people in the past couple of weeks, one of these seemingly involving stones being thrown from a car.

And if stones were in the car, it leads me to question why were stones in the car, were they being carried for a purpose?

The whole thing stinks.

So any time you hear someone making a ‘joke’ or having a bit of ‘banter’ which is actually homophobic or racist or misogynist, call

them out. We need to be brave, and be bold.