The boats were boring, but I got to bang the bongos

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So Portsmouth may have the wonderful Victorious Festival, the kite festival and a variety of other excellent events that I don’t have room to list.

But last weekend Gosport played host to the impressive-sounding Grand Prix of the Sea.

I wasn’t so bothered about the powerboats and the racing – it was okay but a bit dull.

Watching other people have fun when you don’t have the same resources is always rather tedious, isn’t it?

So seeing speedboats in the distance roaring up and down is about as exciting as the proverbial drying paint.

But luckily the shore side of the action was much more entertaining, with three different bands on Saturday evening.

You could say it was middle-aged heaven with cover bands focusing on Madness, Motown and an eclectic selection of tunes including two from Toto.

Fab. Whoever created the line-up knew full well what Gosport middle-agers love – singalong tunes.

There was also a fully-fledged fairground to amuse the teenagers who wouldn’t be seen dead rocking out to Fleetwood Mac covers, but are happy to roam in gangs taking great gasping lungfuls of each other’s testosterone, Lynx and perfume.

Mix that with burger vans, sweet stalls and a pork and turkey roll van (according to my son this is correct) and you’ve got a hybrid fragrance which could be readily bottled and sold as ‘youth’.

The action continued for me on Sunday with a singalong to the Stokes Bay Strummers at the small but perfectly formed Diving Museum on the end of the bay.

I’d gone to see a drumming band but ended up warbling along to Yellow Submarine and Sweet Caroline in front of an ancient diving suit.

Not what you’d expect of an average Sunday afternoon, but it got even stranger when I realised there were bongos up for grabs in the drumming group.

The woman running it said people with rhythm were welcome to play. But who cares about rhythm when one of my bucket list items was available?

I’d long wanted to play in a band, but drums are really my only option!