The last thing we parents need is a royal wedding

Liz isn't bothered about the royal wedding
Liz isn't bothered about the royal wedding
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Having been subjected to more than two weeks of Easter holidays and the promise of further inset days and closed schools due to elections, possibly the last thing any parent wants or needs is another bank holiday, especially for the occasion of the royal wedding.

Yes, if you are childless and are in employment, a day off work (if you have been granted it) is, I am sure, very well received.

But please do have a thought for us parents who have spent the past few weeks juggling work and sugar-fuelled children. Especially parents like me who don’t have any interest in the royal wedding at all.

Before you send me off to the Tower for treason, I would like to point out that as a child I was very interested in the monarchy. I collected magazines, books and posters about our royal family, both past and present.

Remember that this was the heyday of Princess Diana and anyone who wanted to be taken seriously had to sport a high collared lacy blouse and a flicky hairdo.

There was certainly an historical aspect to my interest in the monarchy, but how many young girls in the 1980s could not be entranced by the sight of a young, pretty nursery worker (albeit a rather posh one) falling for her handsome (I am obviously exaggerating for effect) prince? It was like a fairytale.

The wedding was a huge event, and I watched earnestly with my mother, fiddling with my royal wedding-themed Rubik’s cube (yes, really). What a pageant of great majesty it was.

But this time round, with a few years behind me, I can honestly say that I have come through that ‘phase’ and am planning no celebration or street party – even ironically – to celebrate.

My children have picked up on this and have spent the past few weeks gawping at the myriad of hideous and overpriced souvenirs that you can pick up.

Flags, plates and mugs are normal for such occasions, but I have also heard about knitted toys, condoms and jelly beans with Kate Middleton’s face on (the jelly beans, not the condoms).

We were all presented with souvenir mugs at my school for Charles and Diana’s wedding.

I assume that in these austere times no such thing is going to be presented to my children.

Yet there is something quite special about holding a piece of history, even if it is practically worthless.

My mother has mugs celebrating the weddings of various 20th century monarchs and proudly displays them in her living room.

More interestingly, I have one of the boxes used for Princess Anne and Mark Phillip’s wedding cake – a small piece of history. Wouldn’t it be nice for my children to have something to remember this occasion?

Maybe by not flying the royalist flag I am denying my children their part in the history of the country.

Will they be telling their grandchildren about the time their horrid mother refused to let them watch the television on April 29, 2011, and so were denied the honour of seeing the future king of England drag his bride up the aisle?

Well, it’s a risk I am willing to take.

Off with my head!