The horror story will unravel in the fullness of time
Have you seen those pictures of Donald Trump’s face carved into pumpkins on the internet?
With just over a week to go until the presidential election I’ve begun to wonder whether the grisly spectre of Donald Trump – Trumpkin? – as president will turn into a full-on horror story come next Tuesday.
As a child I never went trick-or-treating, I can’t remember ever going to a Halloween-themed party in costume, and I’m fairly sure no pumpkin turned into a Jack O’Lantern in our household.
I don’t think I was alone in that. Apart from a bit of silly string on the doorstep the next morning and warnings about old people being scared by renegade trick-or-treaters I think the whole thing passed us by in our little cul-de-sac.
But in recent years it seems to be gaining popularity, and there’s always a pumpkin outside my house, a pumpkin pie in the fridge, sweets ready for the kids and usually a Halloween party that requires a fantastic costume.
I wonder if it’s something that’s made its way across the pond from America, where Halloween has always been popular.
If so, at the same time that I and scores of children and party-goers are dressing ourselves up to look as scary as possible, something a little bit different is happening to our American cousins.
It seems the more and more we strip away the costumery and cover-ups of Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, the more their full horror is revealed.
On the one hand we have a monster in Donald Trump so horrifying that Dr Frankenstein couldn’t have created if he tried.
And on the other hand we have the re-emerging spectre of Clinton’s private emails and whether she and her aides handled classified information properly.
The trick here seems to be for the American people to spend the next week working out which of these two candidates will be less bad for their country.
The treat for the rest of us will be if they can get it right.
The horror story will unravel in the fullness of time.
Iconic Yomper monument must stay right where it is
It’s quite a sight, watching the Duke of Edinburgh stab a cake with a giant sword.
He was down in Portsmouth on Friday to help the Royal Marines School of Music celebrate its 20th year of being based in the city.
It just so happened to coincide with the 352nd birthday of the Corps of the Royal Marines.
The barracks at Eastney may not house the Royal Marines any more, but, as The News featured last week, the museum is still an emotive topic in the city.
It needs another £2.5m to be able to move into Portsmouth Historic Dockyard, and it’s still not known whether that handsome chap, the Yomper statue that stands at the barracks entrance, will move with it.
I hope he stays where he is.
It’s our fault the balance of nature is being disturbed
I don’t understand how more than half of the world’s wildlife can be wiped out in 46 years.
The Zoological Society of London and the WWF have together published a report which says global wildlife populations have fallen by 58 per cent since 1970.
Over-fishing, rising sea temperatures and deforestation are to blame for it, apparently, not to mention poaching.
Essentially, then, it’s all our fault that the delicate balance of nature is being disturbed.
We don’t need to go to the plains of Africa to realise this, nor do we need to scour the oceans. We just need to look in our own back gardens when spring rocks around again and see just how few bees there are.
And no bees equals no food for us.
It’s got to stop, as simple as that. Because if it doesn’t we’re all going to be in big trouble before too long.