There’s no way you’ll get me to tuck into a plate of insects

Surely, holding a door open for a member of either sex is just good manners?

LESLEY KEATING: Would you dare hold a door open for a woman?

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Apparently the UN has suggested that we all need to be eating more insects.

Crickets can, seemingly, provide much the same protein as eating beef.

I didn’t quite get to the part which set out the quantities of crickets needed to equal a cow because, frankly, I was already baulking at the whole idea.

But the UN reckons that not only should we be noshing down on a delicious plate of caterpillars, we should also be getting busy farming them as well.

I don’t actually eat the insects of the sea – lobsters and crabs and the like.

So there is pretty much no way that I will ever be tucking into those of the land or sky.

Well, not when steak’s on the menu anyway.