They took my bag and then checked me in as a man!

Ewan McGregor  as Renton in Trainspotting - the gender neutral toilets Zella has visited are almost as grubby

ZELLA COMPTON: Men – just aim it in the right direction and we’ll all be happy!

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My trip to South Africa hasn’t come without its fair share of problems. We arrived at Durban airport in what I thought was plenty of time.

But on the way there, our camera lady reversed out of the hotel car park and scraped the front bumper of the car.

Then at the airport we were sent to four different airline operator desks, until they discovered what airline I actually was flying with. Then another airline took my bag, checked me in under a different name – Rudolf Gibbs, I ask you – and I had to spend an hour trying to get it back.

When I finally found out who we were meant to fly with, they didn’t have my booking. I swear I lost weight there and then with panic and stress.