Time to blow the whistle on spending a penny in public

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There are some pretty odd things that go on in the world – but surely few are as odd as discovering that hundreds of eunuchs are being employed to clean up the streets in India by blowing a whistle when they see someone squatting to go to the toilet in the open air.

No, I’m not kidding you. This is a true story.

What I find hard to get my head round is that people in India think it’s acceptable to do their number twos in public

Apparently their role involves giving a sharp blast on their whistles and then ‘politely’ telling offenders not to do it as part of a scheme called Swachh Bharat Abhiyan.

Reports say 300 eunuchs are being recruited as part of a government crackdown in the central Indian state of Madhya Pradesh.

How come there are so many of them knocking about the place? The only one I’ve ever heard of before is in Game of Thrones.

But they’re obviously doing a good job.Government minister Gopal Bhargava said that cases of ‘open defecation’ have come down in Sehore, Sagar and Vidisha and that he intends to recruit some more eunuchs as their involvement has made a big difference.

That’s great, but so much for equal opportunities. I bet the locals are furious; ‘all those eunuchs coming here, taking our jobs.’

What I find hard to get my head round is that people in India think it’s acceptable to do their number twos in public.

Is this something that has been going on since time immemorial? Maybe I’ve led a sheltered life, because I had no idea.

Mercifully, we don’t tend to have a similar problem in this country – or at least I’ve never seen any evidence.

The worst I’ve witnessed lately is those people at the side of the motorway who make a quick stop for an urgent ‘comfort break’ and can be seen relieving themselves in full view of passing traffic.

Nice. It’s enough to put you off your over-priced meal at the next service station.

Maybe it’s time the Highways Agency recruited its own army of people who could tour our major road network and blow their whistles at people who persist in using lay-bys or the hard shoulder to answer the call of nature.