Using a pressure washer is fantastic fun for us men

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You can almost smell summer now that spring and its later evenings have arrived. Time to reclaim the garden from winter’s icy hold, give the grass its first cut and scrub all the dirt off the patio.

It’s hard work getting the garden neat and tidy again. The pressure washer fell out of the shed, along with spades, a bike and a dirty hoe.

I bet you can almost hear the ‘tut’ I got from the other half as I fell on to the floor clutching several hanging baskets.

Now Sarah is a neat and tidy person. She’s organised and likes everything in its place. I, on the other hand, am happy as long as I can’t see a mess. Out of sight, out of mind.

This is not a good combination when it comes to finding things, so teamwork prevailed. I would do the graft, Sarah would sort the shed.

Now at this point can I apologise to my neighbours for drenching their kids playing in the garden?

The conservatory roof was looking a bit sorry for itself and I thought a blast with the pressure washer would do the trick.

It did, but its awesome power also engulfed next door’s garden and children.

Pressure washer, paintballing, bow and arrow, they’re all the same to us men. Aim and fire! Oh, the endless fun.

I was enjoying it so much that I ended up cleaning things that didn’t or shouldn’t need cleaning. The dogs now look immaculate. Only joking!

After several tellings-off, the patios and conservatory are now spotless. Sarah has turned the shed from an Aladdin’s cave of junk into a well-organised working area.

So then it was off to the tip to get rid of stuff. My ‘sports tourer’ was groaning under the weight of assorted junk and grass cuttings when I arrived at the tip – to find it closed.

Apparently later openings during British Summer Time don’t start until tomorrow. Doh!

Come Monday morning, I went to visit the Gosport tip again only to find massive queues. It was the same at Segensworth.

I ran out of time. So three days later my car is still groaning in pain and the smell has increased tenfold.

Thank goodness I only do this once a year!