Watching The Favourite was an unexpected roller coaster ride – Zella Compton

If like me you like to avoid paying an online booking fee for cinema tickets and instead like to turn up and pay on the door, be warned, The Favourite is proving to be the nation’s favourite.
Olivia Colman as Queen Anne in The FavouriteOlivia Colman as Queen Anne in The Favourite
Olivia Colman as Queen Anne in The Favourite

My friend and I popped to Gunwharf on Saturday only to end up in the front row as that was the only space left with two seats together.

And, my goodness, how painful that was.

Firstly, you have neck cramp.

Secondly there’s the suspicion that everyone is looking at you thinking, ‘how cheap, they didn’t want to pay the booking fee and ended up with those seats’. 

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And thirdly, watching the screen is an absolute nightmare. It’s so big, it’s impossible to focus on more than a third at a time, so who knows what you’re missing?

Plus, when the camera swoops or does anything remotely tricky, it makes your stomach lurch as if you’re on a roller coaster.

Luckily I’d brought some fruit to snack on, if I’d had popcorn I’d have spilled it everywhere.

I did wonder though, if anyone in that packed cinema on Saturday afternoon, in the sea of middle age, knew anything about the film other than it’s an Olivia Colman period drama and is set to win a swathe of awards.

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I felt the palpable intake of breath when the warning came up that the movie contained ‘strong’ sex.

It was intriguing to see sex ranked thus, and I offer my interpretation of the use of the word ‘strong’ as women enjoying their bodies without soft lighting (and, of course, men).

And I should know, being in the front row offered an unprecedented view of what was on offer. 

I loved the film, the costume, the attitudes and the characters who aren’t simply good or bad, the look of it, and the way in which it kept me enthralled for its length.

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And, given that I’ve only seen a third of it anyway, I expect I’ll love it even more if I see it again on the small screen in the fullness of time.

In the meantime?

I’m booking seats further back to avoid the unexpected intimacy of the front row.

My greatest achievement and a total anti-climax

I was convinced I was going to be an internet sensation last week.

My daughter asked me to lob a piece of bread in the toaster for her, so I obliged.

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The first try went wildly wide. I used too much force, the second not enough.

But on the third I cunningly hit on going underarm, and ‘looped the loop’ the bread straight into the toaster’s slot, and managed to get a video of it as I did.

I jumped up at the end shrieking like a demented ghoul. Sadly my challenge to my friends on social media to do the same has been unanswered and instead of being a sensation I am simply the woman who can throw a slice of seeded bread in the toaster. 

Face up to it guys – not all of us are as brilliant as you

Seemingly there is a woman who is preparing to ski to the south pole single handed. She is aiming to break the previous time record for a solo female.

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 I wish her well, but if I read one more article about a woman doing something amazing which says ‘if I can do it, anyone can’ I might jolly well barf in my shoe.

Why do successful people feel the need to make light of their accomplishments?

We know they need to be single minded, to give up lots of everything else in order to make their dream happen. Success comes from training, determination and hard work – and the uncomfortable fact is that most of us aren’t up to the job.

Be honest record breakers: you’re amazing.