We’re lucky to have so many talented dogs in the country

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What this year’s series of Britain’s Got Talent proved above anything else was that dogs should most definitely not dance.

A number of canines made it into last week’s semi-finals – and all of them were rubbish.

Clearly, that’s not the fault of any of the dogs called on to prance around on stage.

I didn’t blame them for taking one look at the audience and steadfastly refusing to play ball.

What clever dogs they were though. If they were looking for a way to secure their permanent retirement, they nailed it.

By impressing during the heats, and then bombing so badly in the semis, they guaranteed they’ll never be asked to jump into baskets and over mini jumps again. Not so lacking in talent hey?