We should be waking up to the benefits of breakfast barbecues

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As it’s coming into what should be barbecue season, I’d like to know the answer to this – why do we never hold morning barbecues?

Everyone knows that the best ‘meat in bread’ combo is a bacon sandwich, but no-one ever holds a barbecue in the morning, when it’s the best time to have one.

Also, in the morning it’s usually a bit chilly outside, so standing around the barb-

ecue would be nice and warming, instead of a bit hot and unpleasant.

Plus, if you were holding it in the morning, after

stuffing your face you’d have the rest of the day for the food to go down.

By the evening you’d have lots of space in your belly for the beers that you don’t enjoy as much at an evening barbie because all that bread has bloated you!

Morning barbecues – mark my words, they’re the next big thing!

And another thing...

I bought a bottle of

water the other day, and they made a big thing about it being from some mountain spring, like I’m supposed to be impressed because the water’s run down the side of a mountain.

Now correct me if I’m wrong, but goats live on mountain sides and goats poo a lot.

So basically, this water I’m drinking could have been filtered through goats’ poo as it trickled down the mountainside.

How is that supposed to be healthy?

And this made me think, why don’t we get bottled rain water?

Why aren’t there businesses just bottling rain

water and selling it to us direct?

You could call it some trendy name like Cloudburst, or something like that.

Why do we not do that? It’s clean, it’s come from the natural source of clouds and it’s not come into contact with any mucky rivers or mountains.

And yet no-one sells us rain water.

I reckon I’ve hit on a winner here.

Quick, someone get me the producers of Dragons’ Den!