Apparently, on average, we will get embarrassed by something four times a day. So I’ve set my listeners a challenge. Topping the list is calling someone by the wrong name.
This is especially bad if they are a client you are introducing to someone else. ‘If you don’t care enough to remember my name, how can you care about making me money?’
I remember forgetting Sharleen Spiteri’s name during a one-to-one interview years ago.
I was very nervous and it became more obvious the longer the interview went on. I just introduced her by saying: ‘Texas are here.’
She ended the interview by saying: ‘You can say my name if you want.’ I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me.
Tripping up in public is also a big one. I particularly hate scuffing a slowly rising pavement. That will teach me for being on my phone.
Could be worse though.
A mate of mine walked into a road sign once while updating his Facebook status. It was at a crossing and said ‘Look Both Ways’. Maybe ‘Look Up Now’ should have been painted on the pavement?
Waving back at someone who isn’t waving at you is also high on that list.
You have committed to that wave; there is nothing you can do with that flailing arm now, apart from running it through your hair or picking your nose.
Another bad one is the double kiss. I’m sorry, the double kiss is too poncy and unnecessary.
I once kissed a woman on the head when she went into a double kiss.
I had already retreated, but felt the need to return for the second smacker after she looked bemused. Her hair tasted lovely.
I’m not so bothered about food being stuck in my teeth or accidentally burping. For some reason, I don’t find wind embarrassing, just funny.
So the challenge for next Wednesday is to find out who has had the most embarrassing moment.
Does that feature on our list? What was the outcome and how did you get out of it?
I’m hoping the winner won’t be me!
Lewis Pugh’s mega-marathon swim makes me look pathetic
There really are no excuses any more. As I do my 7km run, moaning and groaning about my stiff muscles and sore back, a 48-year-old man has just swum from Land’s End to Dover.
Lewis Pugh wants to highlight the harm we are doing to oceans and is crusading to protect 30 per cent of the world’s seas. He’d hoped to swim past Gosport and Southsea but the number of yachts at Cowes Week meant he took in the south side of the Isle of Wight.
Stung by jellyfish, many sprains and strains and sores from his wetsuit, Lewis completed his swim yesterday.
I sit here after a measly 6km run yesterday with a tight hamstring. Pathetic!
I hope developers walk away and give us back our fort
Great to see people power working, as the fences keeping us away from Fort Gilkicker have been removed.
The Gilkicker Action Group applied to the county council for rights of way around the fort and it seems to have worked. It’s obvious there’s not enough interest in these £1.5m two-bed apartments, meaning building work has been delayed again. Who wants to spend that kind of money watching me from their lounge window walk my dogs and swim regularly while wearing Speedos?
I hope the developers cut their losses, sell the land to English Heritage and save it for the nation so people can again enjoy the views from the top of the fort.