What’s the point in buying a new car that I can’t park?

Ewan McGregor  as Renton in Trainspotting - the gender neutral toilets Zella has visited are almost as grubby

ZELLA COMPTON: Men – just aim it in the right direction and we’ll all be happy!

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I’ve been toying with the idea of getting a new car.

Not that there’s anything especially wrong with the one I have now.

But while I was looking online for a replacement for my Citroen C2, I had to ask myself what’s the point?

I live in a terraced street with more cars than houses. If you try to park after 8pm, you’re lucky if you can park in a neighbouring road, let alone your own.

Already people have used my bumper as a parking guide (thank you, white car), and there’s no point in getting a bigger vehicle because with this one I’m able to crowbar it into the tiniest of spaces.

I read last week the council is scrapping its introduction of residents’ parking. I wonder if they can tell me to whom I should send my bumper respray bill?