Who decides to get wed on the advice of a medium?

Romantic - Saddam Hussein

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Katie Price, AKA Jordan, is never far from the media spotlight. And recently you might just have read that she got married, again.

Now that’s no real surprise. There were the usual staged bikini shots on the beach, the ‘accidental’ moment she ‘fell’ out of her wedding dress and for good measure she gave the middle finger salute to the photographers. How romantic.

I have to admit this disappointed me a little though. If you’re going to be rude in this way, for me it’s got to be the English two-finger salute, not the America one finger.

Now I know there will be the doubters, those who will say Katie’s latest union will never last. That she will have moved on to someone else before the year is out.

But you’re all wrong! This one is going to last forever. True love, a real match made in heaven.

And you know why? Because a medium told her she would marry someone called Kevin.

That’s great then, because she actually got hitched to somebody called Kieran. Starts with the same letter, I suppose.

She is reported to have said: ‘A medium said the man I’d marry was called Kevin. Kieran’s name is close to Kevin and it all became clear.’

Really, you couldn’t make this one up. Because he was almost called Kevin, she decides to marry him. I expect Kevin Keegan’s thanking his lucky stars.

It’s easily done though. You pop to the shop during your lunch-break, someone asks you to pick them up a sandwich and you come back with a strimmer. Well, it starts with the same letter.

And anyway, who marries on the advice of a medium?

Someone with a crystal ball plucks a name out of thin air and the next minute you’re on a beach exchanging nuptials. Crazy.

A tarot card reader once told me to back number three in the Grand National – and as far as I know, it’s still running. It was that bad.

And what sort of example is Katie setting her children! How many more ‘father figures’ are those kids going to have?

She might just as well fit a revolving door at the entrance to her house.