Why did nobody take our order? It was self-service!

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Last week my son requested we go to Nando’s for his birthday meal.

My wife and I had never been, so we thought we’d try it out.

Once inside the five of us sat down and began checking out the menu.

If you present me with a raw chicken, I wouldn’t have a clue what to do with it

It all seemed very yummy and we decided on a chicken wing roulette starter, followed by various types of chicken sarnie or wrap for our main courses.

The problem was that, after 20 minutes browsing the menu, we started to wonder when somebody would be over to take our order.

Eventually my wife called a waiter over and asked him. He explained that it was a self-service system and you order at the tills.

This then presented me with a new problem – trying to remember five people’s orders.

Lou thought it was hilarious that at the age of 46 I didn’t know Nando’s was self-service.

It gets worse. After discussing this on air, we discovered I don’t know how to make an omelette or operate a washing machine.

Lou: I’ve never been to Nando’s, but even I know you order your food at the tills. It’s the same at a lot of places and it’s certainly nothing new.

Jez is 46, so you’d think he’d be able to figure out how to order food!

But to be fair there are definitely some things I should know how to do by now too.

For example I have no idea how to change a fuse.

Jez tells me it’s easy, but no-one has ever shown me so I wouldn’t know where to start.

Mowing the lawn terrifies me too. I’m sure it’s super easy but I’d be terrified of mowing my feet.

And when it comes to cooking there are certain things I’m totally clueless about. As a veggie I’ve never had to learn to cook meat, so if you present me with a raw chicken I wouldn’t have a clue what to do with it.

I wouldn’t trust myself not to make someone very ill.

Plus I hate touching raw meat, so please don’t come near me with a raw chicken. Gross!