Why push someone to booze if they don't want to? '“Â Verity Lush
Adrian Chiles has been in a documentary focusing on alcohol and how so manyÂ adults have a social life that revolves entirely around it.
I fully agree with one of his points, which is that people pressure others in aÂ social situation to have a drink.
'˜Go on, just the one.'
This has irritated me since I was a teenager. Why do we feel the need to forceÂ others to join us in an alcoholic drink?
Chiles even found himself raising thisÂ point and then, an hour or so later, forcing a female producer to indeed have aÂ glass of wine when the rest of the crew were drinking.
Senseless really and I've had to vehemently stick to my guns in the past if I'veÂ simply not fancied a vino.
You deserve a future in which you can be yourself
It was reported this week that Liam Gallagher, who frankly has never comeÂ across as overtly charming anyway, had grabbed his partner by her throat.Â
BothÂ parties denied this publicly with Debbie Gwyther saying the pair had simply been '˜drunkenly messing around' and there had been a '˜witch hunt' against her partner of four years.Â Â
But if that's Gallagher's behaviour in a place outside of the home, what does he doÂ inside it? Perhaps it never goes further than the odd throat grab.
Does that soundÂ okay to you though? If it does, then it's a worry.Â
Abusive partners '“ and bosses, and even '˜friends' '“ are extremely skilled inÂ apology and the art of manipulation.
Gaslighting in order to make you thinkÂ you're losing your mental faculties is a key tactic, such as telling you that you'veÂ imagined something completely, or that something never happened.
SlowlyÂ eroding your group of friends and therefore your support network is another.
And be completely assured that the person will never, ever change. Unless theyÂ seek help, and even in that instance, they will never change their behaviour.
It isÂ simply in their make up.
It may be the way that they were born, it may be the way they wereÂ nurtured (or lacked nurture), but whatever the reason, it is the way that theyÂ are, and the way they will remain.
If you're in a relationship where you are made to doubt yourself, where yourÂ partner goes through swings of love-bombing you then degrading you, withÂ emotional and/or physical abuse, then seek help from outside.
If your self-esteem is being beaten out of you and you have any fear of your partner, thenÂ seek help.
This is easier written than done but it can be done. You can do this.Â
In Portsmouth and the surrounding areas you can contact the Southern DomesticÂ Abuse Service which offers direct help such as refuge (0330 016 5112) and alsoÂ Portsmouth Abuse and Rape Counselling Service (PARCS) which offers a freeÂ counselling service (02392 669513).
Don't delay. Grab a moment of bravery and a vision of a future in which you areÂ free to be yourself.
Watching students reach their potential is such a joy
The GCSE results are now out and my cohort of 2017/18's Year 11 have doneÂ themselves very proud indeed.Â
For five years I taught at a local school for students who cannot attendÂ mainstream and it was one of the best periods of my career.
I have since left butÂ helping kidsÂ realise their potential is what teaching is all about.
In very challenging circumstances,Â students went on to achieve someÂ wonderful results and they were most certainly the motivation behind myÂ getting up for work each day.
I'm deeply fortunate to love teaching '“ if youÂ didn't,Â there is simply no way you could do it. So,Â a huge thank you from meÂ to the kids and best of luck for your futures.