Why push someone to booze if they don’t want to? – Verity Lush

Adrian Chiles has revealed he is struggling with anxiety because of his heavy drinking
Adrian Chiles has revealed he is struggling with anxiety because of his heavy drinking

Adrian Chiles has been in a documentary focusing on alcohol and how so many adults have a social life that revolves entirely around it.

I fully agree with one of his points, which is that people pressure others in a social situation to have a drink.

‘Go on, just the one.’

This has irritated me since I was a teenager. Why do we feel the need to force others to join us in an alcoholic drink?

Chiles even found himself raising this point and then, an hour or so later, forcing a female producer to indeed have a glass of wine when the rest of the crew were drinking.

Senseless really and I’ve had to vehemently stick to my guns in the past if I’ve simply not fancied a vino.

You deserve a future in which you can be yourself

It was reported this week that Liam Gallagher, who frankly has never come across as overtly charming anyway, had grabbed his partner by her throat. 

Both parties denied this publicly with Debbie Gwyther saying the pair had simply been ‘drunkenly messing around’ and there had been a ‘witch hunt’ against her partner of four years.  

But if that’s Gallagher’s behaviour in a place outside of the home, what does he do inside it? Perhaps it never goes further than the odd throat grab.

Does that sound okay to you though? If it does, then it’s a worry. 

Abusive partners – and bosses, and even ‘friends’ – are extremely skilled in apology and the art of manipulation.

Gaslighting in order to make you think you’re losing your mental faculties is a key tactic, such as telling you that you’ve imagined something completely, or that something never happened.

Slowly eroding your group of friends and therefore your support network is another.

And be completely assured that the person will never, ever change. Unless they seek help, and even in that instance, they will never change their behaviour.

It is simply in their make up.

It may be the way that they were born, it may be the way they were nurtured (or lacked nurture), but whatever the reason, it is the way that they are, and the way they will remain.

If you’re in a relationship where you are made to doubt yourself, where your partner goes through swings of love-bombing you then degrading you, with emotional and/or physical abuse, then seek help from outside.

If your self-esteem is being beaten out of you and you have any fear of your partner, then seek help.

This is easier written than done but it can be done. You can do this. 

In Portsmouth and the surrounding areas you can contact the Southern Domestic Abuse Service which offers direct help such as refuge (0330 016 5112) and also Portsmouth Abuse and Rape Counselling Service (PARCS) which offers a free counselling service (02392 669513).

Don’t delay. Grab a moment of bravery and a vision of a future in which you are free to be yourself.

Watching students reach their potential is such a joy

The GCSE results are now out and my cohort of 2017/18’s Year 11 have done themselves very proud indeed. 

For five years I taught at a local school for students who cannot attend mainstream and it was one of the best periods of my career.

I have since left but helping kids realise their potential is what teaching is all about.

In very challenging circumstances, students went on to achieve some wonderful results and they were most certainly the motivation behind my getting up for work each day.

I’m deeply fortunate to love teaching – if you didn’t, there is simply no way you could do it. So, a huge thank you from me to the kids and best of luck for your futures.