Women get fed up with being ignored, so look to play away

Ewan McGregor  as Renton in Trainspotting - the gender neutral toilets Zella has visited are almost as grubby

ZELLA COMPTON: Men – just aim it in the right direction and we’ll all be happy!

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During the Euro 2012 football tournament, it seems the use of male escorts rose by 26 per cent.

Apparently women were fed up of being ignored by their other halves whilst the football was on, so looked for some of their own ‘away’ action.

Wives and girlfriends could be carrying on behind the sofa and I doubt most men would even notice when Spain are on TV playing the beautiful game.

It also seems women have just discovered soft pornography, or ‘mummy porn’ as it’s been termed, in the form of international bestselling novel Fifty Shades of Grey by E L James.

You can’t go anywhere without hearing about this book. Imagine what’ll happen when they discover the internet!