Would you use single-sex loos? | Clive Smith

LOO BLUES: These should never have been introduced, says Clive
LOO BLUES: These should never have been introduced, says Clive
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The Old Vic theatre in London has just undergone a major refurb and in doing so has scrapped single-sex toilets in favour of those more ‘inclusive for all alternatives’. In other words, they’ve introduced gender-neutral toilets.

It’s down to the arty, lovey types who frequent establishments such as the Old Vic who are always spouting the equality for all, everyone is equal garbage.

But now it’s happened, they are crying about it. You made your bed...

But the thing is I agree with them, I just find it amusing that when it becomes reality everyone is up in arms.

If the toilets in my local pub are anything to go by I can tell you there is no way any women would ever consider sharing with men. It’s grim to say the least.

By the end of the night they’re like that toilet from the film Trainspotting. You need waders, or preferably a kayak, to make your way across the floor.

The cubicles have God knows what on the walls and the WC seats have always, without fail, been pulled off. Oh, and, of course, there are never any locks on the doors.

There’s also moaning because some of these gender-neutral toilets have urinals in them and this excludes women. Well, not really. You can pee standing up so you had better start training.

Call me sexist if you want, but a man’s toilet is no place for a woman or young girl. And a man has no place in the Ladies. But to please a few do-gooders this is what it has come too.

I have three daughters and there is absolutely no way I’d want them sharing toilets with men, especially after they've had a few beers. I’ve walked in on things that just wouldn’t be acceptable in everyday life.

There should be just two toilets (obviously excluding those for disabled people), Gents and Ladies, just like it has always been. It’s worked fine for all these years and if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

So, if you have a penis you go in the Gents, I don’t care if you dress up in your ex-wife’s summer dress and call yourself Karen, use the men’s.

And if you have a vagina, make your way to the Ladies.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Would you send your child to an exam with a can of lager?

A mum has caused controversy after she admitted letting her daughter smoke weed before her English GCSE.

Several people backed the mum saying why not if it helped her relax. I don’t get it. Surely people would ask questions if you sent your kid into an exam with a can of lager.

This was supposed to help her imagination. In the exam she had to ‘compare and contrast how the writers of these two texts present their perspective of life’ but wrote a novella on how rainbows are slides for unicorns.

I was on methamphetamine before my woodwork exam. I should have made a candle holder but ended up with Noah’s ark…

Why wouldn’t you be pleased paedophile was murdered?

Richard Huckle, one of the country’s worst paedophiles was stabbed to death in prison. For some reason it opened a debate about whether we should celebrate his death.

Although I’m sure people didn’t celebrate in the sense that they got out the party poppers and did the hokey cokey, it cheered up what would have been another drab Monday.

He had amassed more than 200 offences against children, some as young as six months. Why wouldn’t you be pleased he was dead?

I can’t for the life of me think why people would be against his demise. I saw some guff about rehabilitation. These animals don’t change. Shame the law doesn’t see fit to ‘end’ them.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​