What would it be like if, instead of endless soundbites in the run-up to the election, we persuaded our wannabe-leaders and their cohorts to enter a Britain’s Got Talent-esque show?
They’d each have three minutes to pitch us their ideas and a panel of ordinary people – who all political parties are so keen to appeal to – could have fingers on the buzzers.
Plus, for added fun, the politicians would all be wired up to lie detectors and would have an automatic disqualification if they swerved even a millimetre from the truth.
What a great way to see how similar so many of the acts are, and how refreshing to get people a little different appearing with new, fresh ideas.
It’d be a super way to understand who was for what, especially if we put in a rule that contestants could only talk about what they stood for, not sling mud about other candidates’ policies.
Then we could see who would protect our national health service, care fairly for those in need, tackle organisations who avoid taxes, help teachers to teach, work to sort out the mess we’re in.
We’d see in whose hands the future of Britain was best placed and who was just spouting what the person before them said with no real gumption or desire.
As an added bonus, our panel of judges could ask about expense records generally, recent election expense investigations and voting records.
We could hold regional and national heats and connect voting to our remote control’s red button. Because who actually wants to get up, go out and make a journey to change the future of our country? Let’s do it from our sofas.
My local elections were voted in by just 35 per cent of the eligible voters. That is embarrassing. Really embarrassing.
If I was writing a report on the behaviour of us as a whole, there would be a whole lot of questioning about whether we were making the most of the opportunities given to us.
We don’t actually believe that our vote will make a difference because of the way the voting system is set up. But if we all actually bother to get up and go to the polling station, we can make a difference.
IF I WAS IN IT, THERE WOULD BE NO-ONE LEFT AFTER ONE SONG
Looking for something to do this weekend? My awesome, fun and brilliant new musical is on at the New Theatre Royal on Saturday night.
Called Ambition, it tells the story of a boyband and its management team.
It’s been a while in the making, but I’ve had the pleasure of working with two composers to make it happen and an extraordinarily awesome cast of young adults.
Luckily I’m not in it as I’m an enthusiastic but terrible singer and there would be no-one left in the theatre after one song.
But the company on stage and the live musicians are fantastic.
The show starts at eight, tickets are available in advance via the theatre, or on the door. See you there!
SHOPPING FOR A NEW KITCHEN TAP HAS BEEN EXHAUSTING
Once every decade, marriages face a hurdle and that is agreeing on a new kitchen tap.
Ours has given up and it’s now more expensive to fix than buy a new one, so it’s time to choose afresh.
Do you have any idea of the number of kitchen taps available?
There are hundreds of styles and hundreds of products.
With so much choice, it ends up with worn-down agreement – after scrolling through a million taps online.
The will to argue about whether to get a pull-out spray, separate hot/cold controllers or combined, or whether to go for a brushed or stainless finish soon disappears when the choices keep on coming.