I am so anxious about my kids going back to school | Agony Aunt

Our agony aunt, Fiona Caine, answers your questions.
By Fiona Caine
Published 22nd Sep 2020, 09:43 BST
Fiona Caine gives advice to a woman who is worried about her children going back to school.Fiona Caine gives advice to a woman who is worried about her children going back to school.
Fiona Caine gives advice to a woman who is worried about her children going back to school.

Question: I am absolutely terrified of my two young daughters going back to school. They’re desperate to go and my husband is completely relaxed about it, but I can’t sleep at night.

If either of them was to become ill, I don’t know what I’d do – I’d never forgive myself for agreeing to send them back.

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I wanted to homeschool them for longer, but my husband said I was being ridiculous and that they’d fall behind.

I feel sick nearly all the time and I can’t get on with anything – how am I going to get through this?

Answer: You’re not alone in feeling this way. I’m sure your children and husband are worried as well, but their concerns have not, perhaps, reached your level.

If you can learn to relax by taking up meditation or yoga could really help. Even just finding a quiet space, where you can relax and listen to music, can help. Regular exercise is also proven to really help.

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If these things don’t help, please speak to your GP and look at Anxiety UK’s website (anxietyuk.org.uk).

MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON

Question: My husband and I have been married for over 40 years and lockdown has driven us further apart.

We never watch TV together because we don’t like the same things. He’s put on weight so is snoring more, which has driven me out of our bedroom. Politically we’re polar opposites, so discussions lead to rows – and lockdown has emphasised it.

I’m beginning to wonder if there’s any hope for our relationship, and whether we’re just drifting towards a lonely old age under the same roof. Would it be better to discuss a separation?

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Answer: All relationships become stale if you don’t put in a bit of an effort. But after 40 years together, you have a lot to lose if you give up without a fight.

It sounds as if you don’t talk at all – that needs to change otherwise you will continue to drift apart.

You’ve lived 40 years of them together and that’s a lot of shared experience you could build on. In spite of your ups and downs you’ve come this far, so there’s glue of some kind holding you together.