I’ve fallen for a colleague over chats on the internet | Agony Aunt

Our agony aunt, Fiona Caine, answers your questions.
Fiona Caine gives advice to a woman who has feelings for a colleague. Picture: iStock/PA.Fiona Caine gives advice to a woman who has feelings for a colleague. Picture: iStock/PA.
Fiona Caine gives advice to a woman who has feelings for a colleague. Picture: iStock/PA.

Question: During the past few months of regular work Zoom calls, I’ve got to know people in our organisation better. There’s one man that I really seem to have hit it off with.

During an online training session, we were paired off together for an exercise. We found out we had so much in common and since then we’ve started online chatting privately outside the group sessions too, usually every day.

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I’ve realised that my feelings of friendship for this man have changed to love. Should I tell him?

Answer: There is no way of you knowing this (any more than I can) unless you try to find out.

Once we’re all free to move around again then I’d still caution you to tread carefully. Maybe suggest meeting for a coffee first rather than an after-work drink, just to see how it goes. You don’t want to ruin a good working relationship and although you believe you’ve fallen for him, when you meet him ‘in the flesh’, you may find you feel differently.

CAN I ORGANISE A DIY DIVORCE?

Question: My husband and I have lived separate lives. We haven’t slept together for years, we hardly talk, and the only time we eat at the same table is when our children visit, which isn’t often. During lockdown, things became even more distant.

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I have decided, therefore, that we need to get a divorce. I’m worried that the process will be expensive and I don’t know where we’d find the money to pay a solicitor, for example.

Are DIY divorces possible, and if so, how does one go about it?

Answer: A It is possible to ‘Do-It-Yourself’ with divorce, the government website (gov.uk/divorce) has probably got all the information you need. Providing the divorce is straightforward and both partners can agree amicably about any assets – like your house, for example – then it shouldn’t be too costly.Although you and your husband are out of practice at talking to one another, I do think you’re going to need to do this, however. You need to agree together how things will be divided up.

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