My unemployed husband wants to end our marriage | Agony Aunt

Question: My husband was working through most of lockdown for his company and we thought that would have been rewarded, but instead he has just been made redundant. I quite welcomed the news at first and, in some funny way, I thought this would bring us closer together.

But yesterday he told me he believes our marriage is now over because there is no way I will want to be with him anymore. Why can’t he see that I love him and that we have a better chance of dealing with this if we work together?

Answer: Your husband’s current behaviour is erratic and although it’s hurtful, I am sure this is just part of the anxiety about losing his job.Many people link their self-worth to their income and, generally speaking, men experience this more than women. You need to tell him that you’re not leaving so he may as well get used to the idea.

The government website (gov.uk) has a whole section on redundancy, which he should check out.

I AM FEELING SO UNFULFILLED

Question: I am 50 this year, with a secure job and a lovely family. This pandemic has given me time to think and I’ve realised that, quite honestly, I’m unfulfilled.

My job is quite frankly boring and at my age, I should be feeling as though I have achieved something but I just feel empty. I tried talking to my husband about it but he said he thinks we just need a holiday.

Do you think he’s right – do I just need a break?

Answer: Economically, leaving your job right now would be quite a risk. It’s quite possible your husband is right and a holiday – perhaps even an extended one – might be all you need to make you feel better about yourself and what you do. We all need a break from our routines for leisure and to re-charge batteries, so if you haven’t had a break of any sort in two years, I am not surprised that you are feeling a bit down.

Be under no illusions that it’s going to be easy, but if a radical shake-up is what you need, then maybe this is the time to do it.