Should I try harder to find a long-term relationship? | Agony Aunt

Question: I'm in my 30s and single, which seems to bother my family and friends. I like my life but I'm getting increasing pressure from them to find someone to marry.

Being single doesn't bother me – I have a number of close relationships when I've wanted them, but I also have financial independence and the freedom to do things as and when I please.

I'm starting to worry about why none of those relationships ever amounted to anything and I'm worried I'm putting out the wrong vibe.

The thing is, I'd quite like to find someone but only if the right man came along.

Answer: That pressure from family and friends is probably making you doubt yourself, when it sounds as if your lifestyle suits you quite well.

There are plenty of married women around who would be thrilled to have our freedom and financial independence. Credit yourself with knowing your own mind, and don't be bullied into marrying someone just because of the expectations of those around you.

Question: My boyfriend and I have been together for three years now and although I love him, I find him incredibly frustrating. I suppose I am rather a driven person, keen to get on with my career, but although he's a brilliant writer and musician, he doesn't do anything about it.

He works in a warehouse, but when I suggest a job more suited to his skills, he does nothing about it.

All he wants to do is drift along and seeing him waste his talents like this is depressing. How do I get him to see sense?

Answer: While I can understand your frustration, I can also see how your boyfriend can be content. People who are creative are often comfortable in jobs like this because it frees their minds to think about other things.If he's content with his life, you need to be very careful about pushing him to make changes. If you push him into doing something that he fails at, or which makes him unhappy, then he's going to resent your efforts and blame you.