Theresa May joke wins national Christmas cracker competition

editorial image
The smashed glass in the door at Johnny Black Photography in Southsea

City MP calls for ‘clamp down’ on small business crime in open letter to council leader

0
Have your say

A GAG about Prime Minister Theresa May has won a national competition to write the best modern Christmas cracker joke.

The best line was voted to be: ‘Why was Theresa May sacked as nativity manager? She couldn’t run a stable government’, which was penned by Samuel Williams, 35, from Kent.

Gags about Donald Trump, Brexit, Southern Rail and Ryanair also proved popular in the annual competition by UKTV channel Gold.

The second placed joke was: ‘Why don’t Southern Rail train guards share advent calendars? They want to open the doors themselves’, while ‘What’s the difference between Ryanair and Santa? Santa flies at least once a year’, came third.

The entries were submitted via Twitter and shortlisted by a panel of judges led by comedy critic Bruce Dessau before being put to a public vote of 2,000 British adults.

Dessau said: ‘In a world that seems to have turned upside down in recent years, there is something wonderfully reassuring about the fact that people have still retained their sense of humour and come up with some inspired gags for this year’s Gold Christmas Crackers competition.

‘The subjects of the jokes that were entered reflects the issues that concern the country today: from Brexit and Donald Trump to Bruce Forsyth and Southern Rail, people have still been able to find the funny side.’

Winner Sarah Williams will receive £1,500 towards a holiday and a box of bespoke Gold Christmas Crackers containing the winning joke.

The top 10 jokes were voted to be:

1. Why was Theresa May sacked as nativity manager? She couldn’t run a stable government.

2. Why don’t Southern Rail train guards share advent calendars? They want to open the doors themselves.

3. What’s the difference between Ryanair and Santa? Santa flies at least once a year.

4. Kim Jong Un will play Santa this year in the South’s annual pantomime. He said he fancied a Korea change.

5. Why did Donald Trump continuously decorate the Christmas tree? Because people kept saying “moron” to him.

6. Why was the planned Ryanair TV documentary scrapped? They were unable to air a pilot.

7. Which TV Christmas special is being filmed in Brussels this year? Deal Or No Deal.

8. Theresa May has asked Santa for a home makeover this year. First thing on the list was a new Cabinet.

9. What did Bruce Forsyth say when the Christmas pheasant repeated on him? “Good game, good game”.

10. Why did Jeremy Corbyn ask people not to eat sprouts on Christmas Day? He wants to give peas a chance.