Fiona Caine, a trained counsellor, answers your relationship problems.
I know what I did was wrong, and I didn’t set out to get laid, but I think I resented being left alone for so long and simply wanted a night out. Now I’m getting anxious again because he is off to Australia next month.
I am also confused because we should be getting married at the end of the summer. What should I do?
A Your email doesn’t mention anything about your boyfriend changing jobs once you are married, so I assume he will continue to leave for extended periods.
If you felt the need to sleep with someone else during a relatively short absence, how will you cope if he has to go away for a month or two? Your fiancé would be hurt if he knew you had been unfaithful and might well want to call off the wedding.
You should consider ending this relationship now.
Q My dad has never liked my boyfriend. In the first few months of our relationship, things went from bad to worse until my boyfriend had a furious row with my father and basically threw him out of our flat.
That was three years ago, and they have avoided each other ever since. My father won’t even telephone our house. If I visit my parents, my boyfriend is always on edge until I get home.
My boyfriend has suggested starting a family. I would love to, but the thought of exposing children to this toxic atmosphere makes me hesitant.
A Start by talking about this with your boyfriend and explain that you’d love to start a family, but you’re worried. Tell him it’s exhausting having to constantly tread carefully around him and your father, and that the only person being hurt by this is you.
Say the same to your parents.
With all of them, make it clear that you are not expecting them to suddenly become the best of friends. All you want is to get along a little better.