DEAR FIONA: Why did he embarrass me in front of his friends?Â

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Question: I got friendly with a guy I met at a party recently and I fell for him big time. He gave strong signals he felt the same way, and although we didn't have sex, we got fairly intimate and arranged to meet a couple of days later. He didn't show up but I thought I'd got the date or the place wrong, so I went to see him at his local pub after work. Instead of being glad to see me, he pretended that he didn't know me and, in the face of teasing from his mates, said that he 'would have to be blind' to go out with me. I left feeling hurt and humiliated and can't understand how he could do this to me? Or how I could be so stupid'¦

Answer: You haven't been stupid at all - he has. He's clearly very immature and unable to handle a bit of teasing from his mates. Surprising him as you did, you probably shocked him, but there's no excuse for the cruel way he treated you. You really are better off without someone like this; whilst I know it's easier said than done, try to forget about this incident and move on. In future, try and spend a bit more time getting to know someone before you fall for them!

 

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Question: My boyfriend and I have been together for more than a year and we're saving up to get a place together. Meanwhile, we're both still living with our parents, but while he sleeps with me when we're at my parent's house, when I stay at his, I'm given a room on my own. His parents know that we're sleeping together, so why do they do this? My family make him feel welcome and accepted, but I'm often excluded from any social occasions his family organises. I hate being left out like this and wonder if I should say something to them?

Answer: You see this relationship as serious, but I suspect your boyfriend's family don't - and they may not until either you're physically together or your boyfriend convinces them that he's serious about you. This makes me wonder if your boyfriend has had that conversation with them and if not, why? If you want things to change though, I think you need to talk to your boyfriend, not his parents. It's up to him to explain how important you are to him.