DEAR FIONA: Why does my partner want to sleep with other women?

A man has asked his fianc if he can have sex with other people on their holiday to the Seychelles
A man has asked his fianc if he can have sex with other people on their holiday to the Seychelles

dfg

Q. My fiance and I are going to the Seychelles later this year for a holiday. I'm looking forward to it, but he's worried me by saying that, as we are not due to get married for a year or two, it should be OK for him to have sex with other women while we are there.

We are both virgins and have previously agreed to not have sex until we are married. However, he thinks that if he doesn't get it out of his system now, it might come back later and wreck our marriage.

A. If he thinks that it's acceptable to sleep with other women while on a romantic holiday with his fiance, I doubt it will stop him having affairs if he decides he wants to.

I also suspect this has less to do with saving your marriage and much more to do with manipulating you into agreeing to have sex with him while you are away.

I find little here that makes me think this immature man is capable of a loving, trusting relationship.

Q. I've just had an ultrasound and learned we're having twins.

We are in a panic because we're struggling to make ends meet already. 

My husband doesn't earn much and coping with one child was always going to be hard, but how we stay afloat with two, I have no idea.

A friend has suggested that I could get one adopted but I'm not sure I could go though with that. I'm so frightened. 

A. I know you're frightened and in shock, but try not to make any hasty decisions. Give yourself time to think what to do next and talk to as many sources of help as possible, starting with your GP.

I suggest you  contact the Twins and Multiple Births Association (tamba.org.uk), a charity that provides practical support through its Helping Hands service. Contact Citizens Advice (citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits), which has a useful section on all types of benefits.

In case nobody else has said it though, congratulations. It won't be easy, but it will be wonderful.