The Cross Word: Cook reinterpreted

Pompey boss Paul Cook. Picture: Joe Pepler
Pompey boss Paul Cook. Picture: Joe Pepler
Luke McGee

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Paul Cook has quickly established himself as pretty straight talker in his time at Pompey.

But his 500mph delivery and gravelly Scouse tones sometimes makes him a bit tricky for us southerners to understand.

So now The Cross Word has taken the effort to bridge the north-south divide and bring some translations to Cookie’s quotes and allow the Fratton faithful to understand their manager.

Quote: ‘I look like a tactical genius. I’m not.’

Translation: I’m not a tactical genius but if you want to say I am, I really haven’t got a problem with that...

Quote: ‘If we get beat, our supporters know we’re not parking any buses. Why should we?’

Translation: I feel sorry for those Crawley fans.

Quote: ‘I think we have games at places like Luton coming up where they will have a go and they will be entertaining games.’

Translation: I feel sorry for those Crawley fans...

Quote: ‘Managers today are trying to make themselves look good instead of just doing their job.’

Translation: I know what you’re doing when you say we’re favourites for the title.

Quote: ‘Some people have a lot to say about us – we’re the best team in the league. They must have a complex about us.’

Translation: That’s you, Richard Money, and all the rest.

Quote: ‘We have been interested in the lad and it hasn’t seen us obtain the lad. So everyone should mark the sand and move on.’

Translation: This is your last chance, Reuben...

Quote: ‘I want a fit team, who can

press, who can work hard and sustain a pattern of play for 90 minutes and not fade away.’

Translation: If you can’t run you’re not getting anywhere near my team.

Quote: ‘From the chairman down everyone is playing their part – and that makes me happy.’

Translation: It wasn’t this easy to sign a player when I was at Chesterfield.

Quote: ‘Press! Press! Presssssss!!!!!!’

Translation: I’d really appreciate it if you could win the ball back at source.

Quote: ‘This pre-season we’ve had triple sessions a day.’

Translation: If anyone’s got a problem they know where to go.

Quote: ‘People change systems after a Saturday when they’ve lost.’

Translation: I will be playing 4-2-3-1.

Quote: ‘I’ll ******* make youssssss lot happy.’

Translation: I fully intend to put a smile on the faces of Portsmouth Football Club supporters.

Quote: ‘It’s important here everyone fully commits to the club.’

Translation: If you don’t want to live in the Portsmouth area can forget it.

Quote: ‘I might get caught up in the game now and then!’

Translation: I’m prone to the odd understatement or two.

Quote: ‘You can blame whatever you want but it’s the same we have always trained.’

Translation: A few injury niggles in pre-season are a small price to pay for a side who can play at the right intensity for 90 minutes.

Quote: ‘Just keep going.’

Translation: The press can come 
up with as complex a question as 
they like but football’s quite simple really.

Quote: ‘We want to be promoted.’

Translation: We want to be