Catherington Comedy Festival: 'Midlife-midwife' Lucy Porter to preview new show Wake Up Call | Interview

The headline used a rather regrettably prescient quote from the comic: ‘You're always completely blindsided by events.’

The gigs of Lucy’s that we were previewing never happened – they were cancelled due to the nascent pandemic – and it turned out to be the last edition of The Guide in some time.

The tour eventually finished earlier this year – more than two years later.

‘Imagine my embarrassment at having to tour a show called Be Prepared that had been rescheduled three times because it was cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances!’ she cringes.

‘Luckily we could laugh about it by the time I did finally get around to doing the shows.’

Now though, the stand-up, writer and actor is preparing a new show called Wake Up Call, which she’ll be previewing at Catherington Comedy Festival on July 24, alongside new material from Hal Cruttenden and Jo Caulfield.

Lucy says: ‘I've called this one Wake Up Call, which I'm hoping is not in anyway going to make me a hostage to fortune – unless I develop sleeping sickness. The irony meter won't hopefully be too raised by this one.

‘When I was doing Be Prepared, some people were coming to shows they'd had tickets for for years and years.

‘By the time I came to do it, I had to completely rewrite it because the whole world had changed in the intervening two years.

‘Let's hope there's not too many surprises around the corner this time...’

Lucy has been a keen podcaster for some time – she has made more than 80 episodes of the quiz/gameshow-themed Fingers on The Buzzer alongside The Chase’s Jenny Ryan – so she was reasonably well-placed when it came to keeping herself busy during the pandemic when physical touring was out.

‘Oh yes, I “pivoted to digital”, as the young people call it – I thought Zoom was an ice-lolly, I had absolutely no idea what it was, but I managed to get myself online with the help of my children and did all sorts of weird things.

‘I did corporate gigs for people in America and Canada – I actually travelled the world more than I would have otherwise – I just did it digitally instead of physically.

‘It was fine, it was nice, and I enjoyed my time learning how to manipulate a camera so you couldn't just see up my nose or the top of my head, but I am much happier being live, it's where I thrive and where I intended to be, so it's nice to be back out there.’

There has of course, been the period of readjustment to being in the same space as other human beings again.

‘I did find it a bit weird, those first tentative steps we took back into live entertainment. I just kept thinking I might nip off and put a wash on, and then realised, oh no, I'm not at home anymore, I can't do that in the interval – I've got to sit in the green room and eat a banana.

‘It was funny watching people when you were doing a Zoom gig and people would forget they had the camera on. You'd watch them eating their dinner, you'd see them shovelling a Fray Bentos in while you're trying to do your set. You don't normally see your audience members' mantelpieces and dogs – that was quite exciting.

‘It would be nice if everyone could bring their cats and dogs to the show, that definitely was the highlight of any gig – when a cat walked across and showed their bum to the entire Zoom call, or the dog leaps up and starts licking their face.

‘I did enjoy that.’

So what is Wake Up Call about, then?

‘It's not about the pandemic,’ she says emphatically, ‘I think everyone's sick of it and they don't want to hear about it.

‘It was sort of inspired by a lot of my friends having big realisations about their lives – they wanted to change jobs or move somewhere different. And I had a couple of realisations and revelations, and it sort of coincided with my friends having midlife crises as well.

‘This is a show that has got quite a lot about midlife crises in it, but rest assured it's not really my midlife crisis – it's about other people's. I had my midlife crisis early – I was very premature, I was an early adopter of the midlife crisis, so I've already been through it.

‘The premise of the show is that I'm the midlife-midwife and I can help people with their midlife crisis management.’

Lucy’s past shows have often included a fair bit of audience participation, will that be the case here?

‘There's no compulsory audience participation, but if anyone is having a midlife crisis and they want to share it with us, or show off their sports car or new 23-year-old partner, then they're more than welcome and we'd all be very interested, I'm sure.’

While Lucy is a regular visitor on tour to this part of the world, this will be her first time performing in Catherington. Denmead-based Guide Award-winning comic James Alderson started putting outdoor shows on there in the field next to The Farmers Inn while indoor shows were still banned – and this is the second festival.

‘Ah, grass and alcohol!’ says Lucy. ‘Those are the two staples of the British summer, that's all we need, and if it rains then even better, because that's what we're used to. I get very concerned if I do an outside gig in Britain and it's not raining, then something's gone wrong!

‘I did a drive-in literature festival in Devon – it was brilliant. We had an amazing time, again it was one of those things we'll look back on and think: how surreal.

‘Everyone sat in their cars and tuned their radios into the gig and if they liked what you were saying, they had to flash their headlights. I've never been dogging, but it's about the nearest thing I can imagine to that...

‘I love an outdoor gig, but it's nice when people are in person rather than their cars. I do love a nice car though, I can't emphasise strongly enough if people have a nice car they want to show me, I'm very willing to go and have a look.’

Lucy has also been known to act occasionally, and earlier this year she got to fulfil ‘a dream’ when she appeared (briefly) in EastEnders.

When she was invited to audition for the part, the character’s name was Rita – the same as her late mother.

‘I thought that's a sign – that's my mum working her magic from beyond the grave.

‘I know in this business we say there are no small parts, only small performances, but it was a brief cameo, let's call it that. I like to think of it as a “celebrity cameo” rather than a small part.

‘The thing that really made me laugh about it, they sent me through the character description and it said: “Rita is a struggling single mum who never has any time to think about her appearance”. I had to send a picture of myself to them so they could look at me for wardrobe and makeup. They wrote back to me and said: “Your own clothes will be fine”.’

Ouch.

‘It's the part I was born to play, clearly, but it was really good fun.

‘I got to use the launderette and take my washing out of the machine that Dot Cotton and Pauline Fowler would have used. It was a thrill.

‘Sometimes when you do TV stuff, I remember when I did Have I Got News For You, you're suddenly in a world that you have watched on television over the years and it's such a surreal experience, but it's brilliant.

‘I don't know if there's a future for Rita, but I've told the producers, I'm very much available.

‘I'm also available for the others,’ she laughs, ‘I could happily occupy a seat in (Emmerdale’s) The Woolpack or (Coronation Street’s) The Rovers Return. I'll do anything!’

Just before we finish our chat, I mention hearing a recent episode of Radio 4’s News Quiz where she calls marzipan the ‘devil's toenail scrapings,’ which I entirely agree with.

‘I am very hard-core on that. I'm recruiting for the anti-marzipan league.

‘I think if there was one substance I could ban, before I got around to heroin or anything, it would be marzipan.’ And she laughs: ‘They're all bad obviously, I'm not condoning the use of any drugs or anything!

‘I can see the tabloid headlines now,’ she mock groans: ‘Lucy Porter prefers heroin to marzipan, or EastEnders star in heroin shock.’

Catherington Comedy Festival runs across five sessions from Friday, July 22 to Sunday, July 24. Other comics on the bill include Jen Brister, Ed Byrne, Reginald D Hunter, Darren Harriott, Lou Sanders, Jonathan Pie and more.Tickets from £18 a session. Day, weekend and VIP tickets available. Go to comedyunderthestars.co.uk.