My doctor is worrying me about being an older mum – Agony Aunt

Our agony aunt solves your personal problems.

Wednesday, 17th July 2019, 3:02 pm
Updated Tuesday, 30th July 2019, 11:52 am
Fiona helps a older pregnant woman. Picture: PA.

Question: I am 38 and have just found out I'm pregnant. I'm thrilled but my doctor is worrying me as he's pushing me to have an amniocentesis test. I know it's my decision but he's virtually insisting

I have it and I don't know why.

I understand there is a risk of miscarriage with the test but, when I mentioned this, he said that the chances are small when compared with the risk of having a baby with a disability.

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I've told him I want to continue with the pregnancy whatever the result so what's the point, but he's still pressuring me.

Answer: Is it possible that your doctor is aware of other factors about your pregnancy that you've not mentioned? Is he concerned about your age?

Given your determination to continue the pregnancy, whatever the outcome of the test, I too am at a loss to explain his persistence. As you say, he cannot force you to have the test, so I suggest that you talk with him again and tell him you definitely don't want it.

 

Question: I'm happiest when I'm reading a good book or pottering around in the garden.

I have my own quiet routines and I always thought my family had accepted and understood this.

But my daughter has really shocked me. She takes every opportunity to tell me I'm boring.

Even my husband has joined the fray, suggesting that if I don't do something I'll end up with dementia.

I have pretended these comments aren't getting to me, but the truth is they are beginning to get me down.

Answer: I find it rather sad that your family have started bullying you in this way, and I wonder if there's something that is worrying them.

Have you become very reclusive? Is there a history of dementia in the family that is scaring them for some reason? 

Rather than do things you don't want to do, just to keep them quiet, why not try and find out why they're behaving this way. 

Start with your husband and explain that all the comments the family are making are hurtful.