DEAR FIONA: Should I confront hubby over fears he's cheating?
Fiona Caine is a trained counsellor who deals with a wide range of relationship problems
Q I’ve been married for 11 years and, on the surface, everything seems fine.
We’re not as close as we once were, but we’re happy in each other’s company and we go out together a lot.
We have two great children, our own home and no money worries.
So why do I think my husband is cheating and about to leave me?
There’s nothing to suggest he is having an affair, but I check through his pockets and last week I managed to go through his e-mails when he left his tablet logged on.
I didn’t find anything, but I still feel so worried.
A Accusing him of cheating might go one of two ways.
It might give him an insight into how you’re feeling and explain some of your recent actions; he might then be able to give you the reassurance you need.
Or he might take it the wrong way and you could end up damaging what is, probably, a good marriage.
Is it possible these doubts stem from your own feelings of insecurity? I think you could benefit from chatting with a Relate counsellor (relate.org.uk).
Q Early this year, I met someone at a conference and we got on well.
We spent all of our free time together and it was clear that we fancied each other.
On the last day, I was disappointed to learn that he lives on the other side of the country.
We exchanged contact details and said our goodbyes.
We’ve chatted online a few times since then, but it’s not been serious.
I’ve just found out that my company is relocating me very close to where he lives.
I really want to see if he’s still interested, but I’d be really embarrassed if he’s moved on or, worse yet, isn’t interested at all.
What should I do?
A Nobody likes rejection but what’s the alternative if you don’t contact him? A lifetime of regret that you might have let someone wonderful slip through your fingers!
Send him a message explaining about the move and suggest a get together.
What have you got to lose but a bit of pride?