Award-winning Baffins author releases book on being childless not by choice following own struggles

Annie Kirby, who lives at Baffins, was in her 20s when she first longed to become a mother.

But through different circumstances in her life, including moving to different jobs, having different partners and studying at university later in life, when Annie reached her early 40s she gave up hope of having a child.

Today, the married 50-year-old writes movingly in her book, The Hollow Sea, about her own sadness through characters, who like her, experienced the heart-wrenching process of not being able to be a mum.

Combined with her love of living by the sea, the writer explores their experiences through Greek mythology around the British Isles, Ireland and Scandinavia.

‘I want it to be a book that people can enjoy for lots of different reasons, even if they weren’t necessarily interested in the theme of childlessness,’ says Annie.

‘They might be interested in the sea or they might be interested in mythology so I wanted it to be a book that would appeal quite broadly and I think there is a lot of interest in mythology.

‘I was very interested in how women are sometimes treated in mythology.

‘As I was reading further, I found women are often not treated very well in mythology, regardless of whether they're childless or whether they're mothers or whatever their situation is.

‘I hope people who are childless not by choice feel I have represented that experience in a more authentic way in my book.’

Annie lives with chronic mental health conditions which have impacted her life substantially. But through writing, she’s found comfort in doing what she loves best.

Annie started writing The Hollow Sea four years ago where she submitted an initial chapter into the award-winning programme, WriteNow – which is run by Penguin Books.

Designed to help under-represented writers get their works seen, it helps people, like Annie, from communities that can be overlooked in the publishing world, get themselves represented on the nation’s bookshelves.

Annie was one of nine writers selected for the programme in 2018.

‘I was very lucky I got on to that mentoring scheme,’ says Annie.

‘I wasn't sure whether [my conditions] were marginalised enough but they asked you to write about why you wanted to enter the scheme, so I wrote about my chronic illnesses and sent that in with a sample chapter.

‘Initially, they selected a number of people to go on a workshop which meant from that they selected a longlist and then a shortlist.

‘I was astounded every time.

‘I hadn't written very much of the book at that time so each time I got a bit further on the list they wanted a bit more.

‘They saw some potential and I got on the scheme and got to work with a mentor who was an editor at Penguin.

‘I carried on working on the book with my mentor.

‘When I got to the end of my mentoring scheme they made an offer on the book.’

During the time Annie was writing the book, she posted a tweet on social media speaking out on how lonely involuntary childlessness can be.

It reached more than 700,000 people – and it was this that propelled her to want to write more on the topic as she discovered many people were responsive and eager to learn more on what it meant to be without a child not through choice.

‘The tweet went viral and were turned into an article for The News,’ Annie explains.

‘That was a real boost for me to know that people were interested in that topic as well.

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‘I've been really lucky to be able to write about something that I love which is the sea and mythology and also something that's important to me which is the theme of childlessness and to be able to combine them all into the same book.’

One of the main characters Annie penned is a lady called Scottie, who is coming to terms with not being able to bear a child.

Following years of trying, it becomes clear that she will not become a mother herself, so she leaves behind her home and her husband and flees to the remote North Atlantic archipelago of St Hia.

The islands she resides in are dangerous, with many lost to the ferocious tides known as ‘The Hollow Sea’.

Myths abound with a witch named Thordis, who due to her inability to have children, is driven to a terrible act. Islanders warn newcomers against examining the past, but Scottie is fascinated by Thordis’ story.

Annie explains the importance of her representation of characters, who are ‘flawed’ and ‘authentic’ in her novel as she wants to combat stereotypes where childless women are often seen as outcasts.

‘There's lots of different things that have resulted in me not being a mum and it's lasted for a long period of time,’ says Annie.

‘When I finally got to that stage where I realised it wasn't going to happen to me, I started noticing that quite often in books and on TV and in films, stories about infertility or childlessness always ended up with the person getting a child.

‘Or they were a terrible person and they were considered a witch or a child stealer or a really cold stereotyped business person or something like that.

‘I really wanted to write about people who didn't get a miracle baby at the end of their infertility journey.

‘I also wanted those characters to be very real and to not be stereotyped. I wanted my characters to be quite flawed people as well but also very real people who you could empathise with, whether or not you've been through that same experience.

‘I struggled to find authentic representation of that in the books that I was reading. That's why I wanted to write about it myself.’

The sea has always stayed close to Annie’s heart having grown up in the Bournemouth area and along the south coast.

In 2007 Annie moved to Portsmouth where she resides now.

Now working as a part-time researcher at the University of Portsmouth, Annie often spends her spare time writing by the sea.

She is currently working on her next novel, a feminist ghost story set in late 16th century Italy.

During her career, Annie has published numerous short stories and non-fiction articles and has been a winner of the Asham Short Story Award.

She hopes The Hollow Sea will resonate with those who have gone through similar experiences who may not always feel represented in the media and in books.

‘Most people have got friends and family who have gone through something similar and it's not necessarily a very well understood experience in a way that I think it authentic.

‘I also hope people who haven't had that experience enjoy the book as well and maybe have a better understanding of what it means to be childless not by choice.’ The Hollow Sea, which was published last month, can be purchased at Waterstones, Amazon and Penguin Books.