How this Waterlooville man is keeping his brother's memory alive after he was murdered

Overnight, Eugene’s mindset and attitude towards his life would never be the same again. Six years on and Eugene has dedicated so much of his time to keeping his brother’s memory alive.

Through that, he has helped countless people who have been left behind after murder and manslaughter and in 2020, he released a book with poetry to help people grieve.

Eugene, 43, says: ‘Michael and I were like chalk and cheese when we were growing up. He had blonde hair and blue eyes after my mum and I have dark hair and brown eyes like my dad.

‘I loved being outside and playing football, whereas Michael was really into computers. We got on more as we got older.’

After growing up on Hayling Island, Michael moved to Stoke-on-Trent whereas Eugene lived in Waterlooville. However, they remained close, bonding over their passion for Liverpool Football Club.

‘Michael was murdered on May 30, 2015 – the day after my mum’s birthday,’ says Eugene.

‘My brother always saw the best in everyone. He would have tried to save the world one person at a time.

‘I remember I got a call from my mum and I pulled over to answer. All I could hear were her piercing screams as she told me Michael had been murdered.

‘All I remember thinking over and over was “not Michael, not Michael, not Michael”.’

Michael Scardifield was brutally strangled by his friend, 29-year-old Martin Birchall, at Michael’s flat in Stoke-on-Trent. His murderer was sentenced to a minimum of 18 years in jail following a trial at Nottingham Crown Court.

‘You never get justice when you lose someone to murder,’ says Eugene. ‘There is always the opportunity for that murderer to get out of jail, get married, have a family but Michael will never get that chance.

‘They say it’s a life sentence but it isn’t. The people with the life sentence are the family left behind. They never fully recover from that loss. Our minds are a much darker place than his prison cell.’

To cope with the unimaginable loss of his big brother, Eugene sought solace in alcohol.

‘I drank eight litres of rum in a week,’ explains Eugene. ‘But it wasn’t taking any of the pain away. I would have bottle after bottle and felt numb.

‘It was having an impact on the people around me and on myself. If I didn’t stop, my mum could’ve buried two of her sons that year.

‘We were trying to prepare for the murder trial when my mum gave me the number of the charity Support After Murder and Manslaughter (Samm). I didn’t call the number right away but I am so glad I picked up the phone.

‘Everyone at Samm has lost a loved one to murder or manslaughter and they are trained in counselling. They can understand what you are going through.

‘I picked up the phone for the sake of my children and to at least try for them.’

Since seeking help at Samm, Eugene has conquered challenges he never knew he could. From charity bike rides to jumping out of planes, and from the Three Peaks Challenge to motivational speaking, Eugene has kept Michael’s legacy alive.

Eugene says: ‘I wanted to give something back to Samm because they provided such great support. I am forever in debt to them – without them, I don’t know if I would have ever got out of that dark space.

‘I tell everyone who contacts me about needing help to go to Samm. I am not a trained counsellor but I mention my Facebook page which may help.’

When Eugene was drinking, he would often write down his feelings on paper.

He says: ‘It was a release. But I always said I could never be a writer because I would have to be an alcoholic.

‘Five hundred and seventy-three people were murdered in 2015. A lot of them were race, drug, gang, addiction-related and also a lot of domestic abuse victims. There were so many innocent people.

‘I wanted to make people aware of that. Lots of people say “there’s no smoke without fire” and “they must have done something” but that isn’t always true.

‘Another aspect is the alienation. People don’t know what to say to you and stop talking to you. I want them to know that we are the same people, just more fragile and perhaps need a more caring attitude.

‘I put these messages out on social media and had so many people telling me that I should write a book.’

On what would have been Michael’s 43rd birthday on April 17, in 2018, Eugene woke up and wrote about the effect grief has on families.

‘I wrote about the impact it had had on my mum, sisters, niece, and dad. It was all true apart from my dad, because we never really had one,’ says Eugene. ‘I put it on Facebook and it went viral. I had many families contact me and ask if they could use the poem at their murdered relatives funeral or memorial.

‘I also did a video of it to put on social media, which has 150k views and still gets views three years down the line.

‘I set up a Facebook page called Life After Murder And Manslaughter and posted the poem on there.

‘Someone messaged me saying it was as if I had ripped their heart out and poured it on to a page in words. I couldn’t believe how far it was reaching people.’

The reaction and interaction Eugene gained spurred him on to self-publish his book, A Tortured Gift: Words After Murder, on Amazon in May last year.

‘It wasn’t about Michael’s life but about my thoughts and feelings after his murder,’ says Eugene. ‘I find it cathartic but also a way of continuing Michael’s legacy. If I am helping one person with my words, that is making a difference.

‘My family say they are proud of me but the only people my words can’t help are them.

‘My three sisters were diagnosed with fibromyalgia after Michael’s murder. I do these physical challenges because I know they can’t, but it’s not all about me, this is about all my family.’

Now a father of six, Eugene says he tries to tackle everything in his life with a positive mindset. ‘I believe the only thing we have 100 per cent control of is our attitude,’ says Eugene.

‘I still have dark days and sometimes it can be a little bit brighter. I hope people can find inspiration from what I am doing.’

To find Eugene’s book, search A Tortured Gift on Amazon.