I am lonely but don’t want to leave my family home | Agony Aunt

Our agony aunt, Fiona Caine, answers your questions.

Tuesday, 27th April 2021, 11:13 am
Fiona Caine advises a lonely woman.

Question: I am a 75-year-old widow and have been living alone in a large house – my family home – since my husband died. I dearly love this house and would hate to leave, but I am just so lonely.

I have thought about trying to find someone to share the house with me – for companionship rather than money – but am not sure how I go about this. I don’t have any suitable family members or friends who could move in – they are all settled in their own homes. I am a little wary of advertising, as you never know who is going to respond.

Answer: Although you say you don’t have any suitable family or friends, I would suggest you still ask them. They might be wanting to sell their home or they might also be lonely! Or they might just know someone who is in the same position as yourself.

Sign up to our daily newsletter

The i newsletter cut through the noise

Finally, I would really encourage you to do something about the loneliness you are feeling. Find more friends, become more involved in your community, and take part in more activities.


Question: My husband has been beating me. We’ve been married for 10 years and he drinks constantly.

He hit me so badly that neighbours had to call the police, who arrested him for being drunk and took me to the hospital. On my birthday, he pushed me down the stairs and I injured my back.

For a while after that, things were good – but recently he has started all over again and I am so scared. I am the main financial support for the family but I feel I need him to be a father for our children and don’t know what to do for the best.

Answer: Staying with this man, who cares so little about you and your feelings and is prepared to damage his children, mentally, for the rest of their lives, is not for the best. You are clearly not safe where you are, and the fact that the abuse has restarted indicates it is likely to escalate to the levels you faced previously.

Please contact the free National Domestic Abuse Hotline (nationaldahelpline.org.uk) on 0808 2000 247 for help in taking the next steps.