Our IVF miracle baby was made with a little bit of science and lots of love

The 37-year-old television producer, from Catherington, has chronicled everything from her party lifestyle in the noughties, to reporting from glamorous locations around the world – even a stint at the Oscars in 2012.

But in recent years, she and husband Matt Kingston, 40, have been nursing the secret heartache of going through IVF.

They spent about £13,000 on treatment and finally welcomed their daughter Harley into the world in February.

With searing honesty, Cheryl writes about the highs and lows of infertility, becoming new parents during lockdown, and how people should be more sensitive to those without children...

‘Isn’t it about time you two had a baby?’

‘So then, when can we expect to hear the pitter-patter of tiny feet?’

‘You’ve had your career, Cheryl, now it’s time to settle down.’

The remarks were constant, and for two-and-a-half years I had to listen to these seemingly innocent questions, all the while smiling outwardly while holding back the tears.

When you hit a certain age it’s almost universally expected that you should have children.

Unfortunately for us it just wasn’t that easy and, quite honestly, having gone through the process of IVF I have no idea how you can conceive naturally.

It’s beyond incredible what your body has to do to be able to create a new life and yet apparently it’s the most natural thing in the world and the reason we’re all here. Well, it wasn’t like that for Matt and me.

I want to let others going through similar situations know that they are not alone. Fertility struggles are more common than you think and yet it’s still quite a taboo subject and not something widely discussed.

That needs to change.

We never had a problem talking about it. In fact, it was quite the conversation stopper – whenever we’d be on the receiving end of a remark like the above, we’d look round and say: ‘Actually, we’ve been trying for a couple of years, it hasn’t worked so now we’re having IVF.’

Trust me, that stopped the comments – people don’t really know what to say after that. We couldn’t do the most natural thing in the world so we got a little help and two-and-a-half years later we have been blessed with our daughter, Harley.

I tell her now, and I’ll tell her when she’s older, that ‘You, my darling, were made with a whole lot of love and a little bit of science.’

We got our girl but for so many there is not such a happy conclusion. There are no guarantees with IVF.

We struggled to conceive because I didn’t ovulate very often and they found out I had an under-active thyroid which meant about a year’s-worth of testing and trying different doses of drugs to help both issues.

When we were due to go for our first transfer, having already frozen Matt’s sperm and retrieved my eggs, I was then told that I had a blocked Fallopian tube and I had to have surgery to remove it. After all that time it was just another blow and I felt like maybe someone, somewhere, was trying to tell us something.

But we persevered, hoping that we’d get there in the end. It was heartbreaking, painful, and expensive – we didn’t qualify for any NHS funding so had to pay privately.

IVF is intensive and so invasive. It became second nature for me to have my legs in stirrups and be looked at ‘down there’ by total strangers. I was doing it every week at one point.

We were lucky though, Harley was conceived on the first round but for so many other couples, the fight for a child goes on for years, decades even.

Harley Winter Lorraine Kingston was born on February 6, 2020, three-and-a-half weeks early.

After all the heartache we went through to get her I so wanted the birth to be straightforward, but in typical ‘me’ fashion it wasn’t.

For starters, my waters broke at Queen Alexandra Hospital in Cosham, when I went in to check if everything was okay as I had had some leaking, but nothing major.

The midwife asked me to sit up a bit and then came a gushing of water – she looked at me and said: ‘You won’t be leaving here without your baby.’ I’ve never been so scared.

I then spent two days in what I now know was labour but was told at the time it wasn't, until right before I had her. The doctor gave me an internal examination and said: ‘Oh my, there’s the head, you need to start pushing…now!’

Matt and my mum had just gone home, so I called them both as I was being wheeled into a private room.

Luckily they got there in time – I wasn’t allowed any pain relief medication, not even gas and air, and she was born one hour, 15 minutes later.

We then had to spend a week in hospital as she was born early with an infection, had glucose issues that were going up and down, and jaundice.

After such a long wait to have her, she spent two days in an incubator where I couldn’t hold her and cuddle her. It was heartbreaking.

When we were finally discharged, the euphoria of bringing our little girl home was immense. We were on cloud nine, but, my goodness, does the reality of having a new life to look after hit you like a tonne of bricks.

We retreated into our new little world together, shutting everyone out. Little did we know that lockdown was just around the corner and we’d be forced to be in our own little world together whether we liked it or not. Lockdown has been incredibly hard, and while so much credit goes to those parents who are home-schooling their children and trying to entertain them, I think a little shout-out also needs to go to the new parents navigating mother and fatherhood alone.

No one could have predicted this new world we live in, but, if nothing else, I take comfort in the fact Harley has had both her parents there 24/7 and we’ve bonded incredibly well as a family.

Being a mum is the most challenging thing I’ve ever done, but it’s also the most rewarding, magnificent, and life-changing too. I’m beyond proud to be Harley’s mummy.

If you have struggled or are struggling with fertility issues, please know that you are not alone.

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